The Power of Delighting in Others

Can you remember a time when someone was absolutely delighted to see you? Maybe it was a grandparent whose face lit up when you arrived at their door. Maybe it was a child who ran across the room and wrapped both arms around your legs. Maybe it was a friend who jumped up to greet you with a big smile and a big hug when you paid them a surprise visit. Remember how good that felt? Someone was happy to see YOU. You didn’t have to accomplish anything, bring anything, or prove anything. Your arrival was greeted with joy. We have the power to give that feeling to others. To delight in someone is to let our joy in them flow freely. It’s greeting them with a big, full-faced smile and outstretched arms. It’s putting down our phone, smiling broadly, making eye contact, saying their name, asking how they are, and really listening to the response. It’s paying enough attention to notice when something is off. “*You seem a little quiet. How are you doing*?” It’s noticing a twinkle in the eye. “*You’re positively glowing! What’s up, buttercup*?” And then it’s waiting for the answer without filling the silence. When we delight in someone, we communicate something powerful: *I see you. You belong here. I’m glad you’re with me. You matter to me.* Think about what that can mean to a child who feels overlooked, a teenager who struggles to fit in, or an adult who wonders whether anyone would notice if they were no longer around. Our delight can help people recognize value in themselves that they struggle to see. Being welcomed, listened to, and enjoyed for who they are can help build a person’s sense of worth and value. Repeated over time, those small moments give them reasons to believe they are wanted and valued. When we light up at the sight of someone, other people take note. We recognize authentic respect and kindness when we see it because it’s different than how the world typically operates. Children learn how to welcome others by watching us. Friends see what attentive listening looks like. A person who is nearby may be reminded to put down their phone and greet someone with warmth. We’re showing others how it’s done. We don’t have to be in a great mood to do this or have nothing but time. Sometimes taking the time to really greet someone can be the break we need. It can be as good for us as it for others. Delighting in others costs nothing, yet this one simple thing can be so powerful. It certainly was for me. When I was young and living in dysfunction and abuse, I met a girl in school who literally changed my life because she greeted me with a smile every time she saw me. She acted genuinely happy to see me every day at school. She did that with everyone, but for me it was incredibly healing. Purposeful Practice Try showing delight with the next person you see. Let your face show that you’re glad they’re here. It may be insignificant to you, but for the other person, it may be a moment that matters. You have the power to do that. Use it. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rhondasciortino.substack.com