Chinese Model Goes Viral After Plastic Surgery

Morning.

Welcome back.

What if I told you the smaller your face, the prettier you'll look? Would you then pick up the habit of mewing every day? Rub a bunch of ice cubes on your face to de-puff your chubby cheeks? Wear strategically placed makeup to give the illusion of having less face? Whatever the case, as long as you don't do anything too crazy, like, let's say perhaps use a pressurized nail gun to blast away your jaw fat.

[nail gun firing] Well, The Simpsons does it again and predicted the actual makeup gun we're using 20 years in the future.

Are all those red marks on her face that keep appearing bruises? Damn, they are beating the hell out of her face.

Gonna be real awkward when she stands up and her entire jawbone falls off, and that might actually work in her favor.

After all, the Asian beauty standard is a small head.

What better way to shrink things down than to get rid of all those useless bones under our skin? The more you fit the cute uwu aesthetic, where you look like a forever 18-year-old porcelain doll, the more desirable you'll be.

According to Chinese social media standards, think of celebrities with very strong features, your Angelina Jolies and Henry Cavills of the world, who are known to walk into a room jaw first and accidentally cut open the glass door with their sharp-ass jawlines.

This type of intimidating look doesn't really fit the Asian beauty standard equation.

V for Vendetta? More like V for that's the shape they want your face to look like.

[bell ringing] Slim, youthful, with a hint of sharpness right at the bottom.

Once you've lifted the hood and shaved off enough of your face, then you too can become a Douyin influencer posing in front of the Cartier store at a respectable 11 feet tall with a Post-It Note for a head.

[angelic singing] Well, what are you guys waiting for? Someone get her into the NBA right now.

If her and Shaquille O'Neal stood in a room together, she would make his height look normal.

She takes one single step, and she's already at the other side of the court in a different building.

A jump scare for everyone there, kinda like when my family doctor of 25 years said, "Peace," and retired the next day.

[fingers snapping] No one really teaches you about finding a new one until they all of a sudden decide to retire, and you're left to your own devices, free to do whatever you want.

Yeah, did not really enjoy that type of freedom, especially since my parents did all my doctor bookings until I was in my 20s.