How to Interrupt Without Making It Awkward

So I'm going to give you one technique today.

It's a simple one.

It's called the redirect and it literally only takes a few seconds and you can learn it in the next 10 minutes so that you can use it next week.

So before I get into the words of this technique, let me frame it a bit because I think that the frame is why most of us never do anything about this.

Now, most people file the dominant speakers in the room under kind of a fairness bracket, almost saying, well, it isn't fair, right, if one person is talking for 11 minutes and another person doesn't talk for any.

And that is absolutely true.

But what I like to frame is a little bit different because fairness can be sometimes a little bit of a weak argument because it can cast you as a leader of that meeting, as a referee, and that can sometimes get you into a bit of hot water.

So we let that go and have a look at a slightly different version in that if you allow the dominant speakers to hog, the meeting will reach a worse decision.

And there's good research in this.

In fact, if you go back to the mid-80s, there's a study called A Hidden Profile where you give a group a problem where the right answer will only show up if everyone shares the bit that only they know.

and the groups always fail at it literally reliably every time because the conversations start to drift towards what's already common ground because that kind of feels right and what agreement feels like and they've done big analysis on this since like back in 2012 they did a big meta analysis over 3 000 groups and the headline is that when there's a hidden profile in play the groups are about eight times less likely to reach the right answer So based on this, you can kind of deduce that that person who isn't getting the chance to speak is disproportionately likely to be the one holding information that would actually really help.

And not because quiet people are just wiser, but the more unique information is, like by definition, just held by fewer people.

And you need to get that.

Which...

Changes the job a bit, really, when you think about it, because you leading a meeting, you don't have to be trying to kind of balance voices in terms of fairness, but you're just trying to protect the quality of the decision that you're going to make and live with.

And I think that is something worth investing in.

So if it's that costly, and we know that it is, why do people do nothing? Well, there's a few reasons for this.

One is that it sometimes just doesn't feel like a problem when it's actually happening.

So a monologue's happening, people are nodding along, it can feel like a conversation, at least, well, certainly to the person nodding, right? Secondly, I think you're going to resonate with this one.

Interrupting feels rude because that's social cost, right? It lands immediately in front of everyone.

And the benefit that you know will help us make a better decision, that's a delayed benefit, isn't it? It's going to turn up later, whereas the kind of awkwardness sits here right now.

So we don't make the trade.

Third is that the person talking sometimes can be more senior in the room, or maybe they're most expert, or maybe they're the most confident.

Sometimes all three at once, which can be a really difficult combination to interrupt.

And fourth, and let's admit it, sometimes this is the case, you're sometimes just relieved that somebody's talking at all, especially when you've got a room full of more quiet people.