ColdIron | Episode 4: A Bazaar Painted Red

dork tales presents cold iron a western fantasy epic hello everybody and welcome to another episode of cold iron here on dork tales uh this is episode four a bizarre painted red and the first game that we are running of cold iron in 2025 i hope you had a great holiday season and that uh you are happy to be back here because y'all i sure am uh in fact Let's cowboy hat up.

Folks, I'm Kelly.

I'm your dungeon master here on Cold Iron, and for most of Dork Tales, I use he and him, and I am super excited to be jumping into game today because we've got a lot to do, and I love this campaign.

It's a lot of fun.

We're going to be hopping in right now, but first, I want to just let the players introduce themselves.

Why don't we go around in a circle and say who we're playing today, who we are, and something fun.

Let's start with Caitlyn.

Hello, everyone.

I'm Caitlin.

I use she, her pronouns.

And so does Zoe, the Warforged paladin of the group.

I'm not very fun.

You're pretty fun.

I bought a lot of work stuff, and I'm so excited because I'm a nerd.

I bought a stethoscope and scrubs, and we're ready to go.

And shoes that won't kill my feet.

This is great.

Oh, God.

Yeah? We

just got to get you started on your ASMR channel and your set.

I...

Speaking of somebody else who could do a great ASMR channel, it's Robin.

Hi, I'm Robin.

I use she, her pronouns.

And today I am excited to be back in the boots of Trixie Blastemoff, our goblin gadget smith artificer of the group who uses she, her pronouns as well.

Yeah.

Speaking of shoes, I'm very excited.

I got...

some convertible high heels over the holidays and i'm very excited because i can't wear heels usually but these shoes are amazing so

comfortable

shoes for the win

for the win also very used to winning it's christine

oh i was gonna say i could probably also do like a channel but it'd probably be a mukbang channel because teddy is busy on his bone right now I put peanut butter on it and all I'm hearing is slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp in the background right now.

But hello, I'm Christine.

I use she, her pronouns.

And today I get to play Belle Sinclair, our Tabaxi warlock of the group.

Fantastic.

Also, I have no segue from that.

Hi, Amy.

I was like, I don't know.

What am I saying?

Something mukbang related? I don't know.

I really have nothing related to that.

I mean, I do have some food in front of me and I am eating waffles, but they're not for sharing.

Sorry.

So, hi, I'm Amy.

Pronouns are she, her, they, them.

And I'm playing Carrion Slaughterhouse, the mixed tiefling orc ranger, soon to be gunslinger ranger of the crew.

I like that you said that you're a mixed ranger, like your heritage is ranger.

Well, I said mixed orc tiefling.

Ranger.

Okay, sure.

Okay.

I heard a hyphen.

All right.

Tell me something fun about it.

I mean,

you can, you can, considering it's just, you know, verbal, you can certainly interject punctuation where you see fit.

Hmm.

Are you fun? Is your fun thing that you have waffles?

Uh, yeah, probably.

That's the most exciting thing right now.

Nice.

All right.

Uh, one last exciting thing before I talk about our most exciting thing is cat.

Hey, everyone.

My name's Kat, and I use she, her pronouns, as does my wonderful girl, Tali Na'a, or bunny, or Tali, who is our seraphim aberrant mind in the group.

Fun thing, I'm going to look at more bunnies tomorrow.

Too many bunnies.

Too many bunnies in your house, Kat.

So many bunnies.

I had a bunny yesterday with me at work and it was great.

Oh my god.

Folks, you know

what?