Seeing Your Child Differently :: Mentor Series Wk 6 [Ep. 585]

Sally always has so much wisdom, and in this episode if you wanna go to it, she also talks about how does she hold onto her ideals in the midst of the challenge of difference, and I think it's really encouraging that you don't have to give up on one just because your family looks a little different.

I also love hearing from Nathan, uh, because it's like we always hear from the parent or the expert, but hearing from the child who's now a young adult, one thing stood out to me.

He doesn't remember his mom trying to make him into someone else.

He remembers feeling seen and known, and sometimes that's the greatest gift we can give our kids is not trying to change them, but understanding them.

I also want to encourage you, something really practical that I wish I had known or thought of back when my kids were young, is if you suspect your child is struggling or if a teacher brings it up to you or you notice, to tell somebody.

One, either tell a friend, or go see an expert, whether it's ADHD or dyslexia or anxiety or autism or sensory processing.

There can be a lot of fear, and it helps if we talk to other people, whether it's your pediatrician, whether it is a teacher.

I would say pursuing evaluations, um, I'm very thankful I talked to David Thomas about one of my kiddos, and he suggested we do an occupational therapy evaluation, and we got some treatment there, and that was really helpful, and then a counselor and a psychiatrist.

Like, these are helpful people, and you need to know that a diagnosis is not gonna define your child.

It is simply a way to give you a better map, and so that they're supported, and so they don't have to struggle in ways through really hard years, through the teen years.

And so that's one thing I wanna encourage you in.

Also, like we said in the episode, every strength also has a shadow.

There's the child who questions everything, but they bec- may become an adult who isn't afraid to challenge injustice, or the highly sensitive one who becomes the most compassionate adult you know, or the child with endless energy may lead people with incredible passion.

I don't know exactly how God will use your child's wiring, but I know he is not surprised by it.

So today, I know sometimes we want a different child, and we think if only we had the child who did X, Y, or Z we would be a better parent.

But I want you to throw away that receipt, not because parenting is easy and not because the grief isn't real.

There's real losses and real diagnoses and real challenges and real tears.

But because your child doesn't need another person wishing they were someone else.

They need someone delighting in who they already are.

I know I've been saying this throughout the Mentor series.

You don't need to do this alone.

I think it's especially true here.

I want you to invite those trusted friends and wise professionals and mentors and Jesus into your parenting because while you may not have the child you expected, God did intentionally entrust you with the child you have, and I believe he will use your child's differences to shape both you and him or her into who he created y'all to be.

I'm gonna pray for us.

Lord, I thank you that we've had a chance on the last f- six weeks to reflect and recall how you are with us, how we can turn to you, that we don't have to carry the burden of parenting alone, whether that's with friends, whether that's with our spouse, or whether that's trusting you.