Jul 9, 2026 · 18 min · 11 segments
Send us Fan Mail Parenting a child with ADHD, ODD, or emotional regulation challenges can be exhausting, isolating, and deeply misunderstood. In…
Ibn Sharif ShakoorHostYou know, ODD, uh, some that go into young adulthood, borderline personality dis- disorder, maybe some bipolar, um, ADHD, which covers a lot of different symptoms for those who don't know.
Um, so today isn't about blaming parents, children, um, you know, or blaming anyone really.
It's about talking, talking honestly about what many families experience behind closed doors.
As a therapist and as a parent, I've seen both sides.
Um, and sometimes the hardest part is n- not the behavior, you know.
Um, it just feels like no one understands what you're carrying.
Um, the enemy is not the child either, you know.
Your child is not the diagnosis.
Um, you know, ADHD, emotional regulation struggles, ODD, anxiety, and other challenges, you know, it, it doesn't erase the, the entire being of the child, you know.
Um, and that's coming from someone who's been on the losing end of some of the, the struggles of, of raising a child with those challenges.
Um, I've had police called on me.
I've had numerous, um, DYFS cases, investigations, um, that have never led to me being, you know, in trouble or, or convicted of anything.
But, you know, the struggle in itself is, is a battle, you know, just can be draining.
Um, but it's important to realize that accountability and compassion can exist at the same time.
We can love our children deeply, but, but also acknowledge that parenting, parenting them can, can be exhausting, and it can be exhausting.
Um, your child can be struggling, and you can be struggling.
The child deserves support, but the parent deserves support too.
So those, you know, you can hold space for, for both those truths, you know? Um, for me, the challenge has been, especially as a, as a, as a Black parent, a Black father, it's the judgment that we carry as parents.
You know, ODD, uh, some that go into young adulthood, borderline personality dis- disorder, maybe some bipolar, um, ADHD, which covers a lot of different symptoms for those who don't know.
Um, so today isn't about blaming parents, children, um, you know, or blaming anyone really.
It's about talking, talking honestly about what many families experience behind closed doors.
As a therapist and as a parent, I've seen both sides.
Um, and sometimes the hardest part is n- not the behavior, you know.
Um, it just feels like no one understands what you're carrying.
Um, the enemy is not the child either, you know.
Your child is not the diagnosis.
Um, you know, ADHD, emotional regulation struggles, ODD, anxiety, and other challenges, you know, it, it doesn't erase the, the entire being of the child, you know.
Um, and that's coming from someone who's been on the losing end of some of the, the struggles of, of raising a child with those challenges.
Um, I've had police called on me.
I've had numerous, um, DYFS cases, investigations, um, that have never led to me being, you know, in trouble or, or convicted of anything.
But, you know, the struggle in itself is, is a battle, you know, just can be draining.
Um, but it's important to realize that accountability and compassion can exist at the same time.
We can love our children deeply, but, but also acknowledge that parenting, parenting them can, can be exhausting, and it can be exhausting.
Um, your child can be struggling, and you can be struggling.
The child deserves support, but the parent deserves support too.
So those, you know, you can hold space for, for both those truths, you know? Um, for me, the challenge has been, especially as a, as a, as a Black parent, a Black father, it's the judgment that we carry as parents.
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