Kids Do Well When They Can - Weekend Wisdom

So parenting kids exposed to trauma is hard and sometimes very hard.

But these kids need parents and these families can thrive.

And in that interview with Creating a Family, Dr. Ross Green stressed that that it's crucial for parents of children exposed to trauma to realize that kids really do want to do well.

And if they are struggling, it's likely because they are lacking a specific skill needed to succeed.

And in my life, it was revolutionary.

for me to shift my focus from the behavior itself to looking for the skill that the child was missing that was resulting in the behavior.

So in the midst of dealing with a child whose behavior reflects their early life trauma, it's easy to think that the kid is intentionally driving you nuts because the kid may be driving you nuts.

You may be going nuts.

The intention part, however, that's likely not what the child is intending.

And reframing their behavior to being a lack of a specific skill turns us into a teachable moment.

And teachable moments give us power to help our kid improve.

It was so hopeful for me when I was able to shift my perspective to understanding that.