"Gifts on the Porch" | ClancyPasta PRESENTS

I came here to write this because I genuinely don't know who else I can tell.

My name is David.

I'm a man in my mid-thirties who's recently divorced.

Well, I guess not recently.

It's been nine months.

I was married to Lauren for five years.

A divorce was pretty much what you'd expect.

The relationship wasn't abusive and there wasn't infidelity, but...

One day, she just decided she didn't love me anymore.

She'd had enough and didn't think she could keep going.

I spiraled pretty hard after that, and things pretty much just collapsed.

I started to avoid going out anywhere because I didn't want to run into our old friends or anyone who would ask what happened.

The loneliness was almost preferable to the social interactions I knew would leave me uncomfortable.

I didn't usually like going out anyway.

That was what Lauren liked to do and I just tagged along.

After a couple of months, work moved my position to fully remote.

I work in IT, so that didn't affect my day anyways.

I still only mainly talked through email or text, and now I got to do that from the comfort of my living room instead of the endless maze of cubicles.

At least now, I wouldn't have to deal with the socially expected pleasantries and fake concern of those around me.

Being able to get groceries delivered eliminated the trips to the store, and Eventually, I'd run out of any reason to leave my house.

My only semi-regular interaction was with Tim, the grocery delivery guy.

And even then, that came sparingly because sometimes he'd just leave the groceries on the porch.

When you never leave the house, or really interact with another human, you stop caring.

It didn't take long before I stopped taking care of myself.

I stopped showering every day, stopped caring about how much I drank or what I ate.