EP397: From Independence to union

the desire for independence, the practice of independence, which we both had a lot in our lives, has kind of been taken over by this merging and this sense of being really connected together a lot and really about a sense of union.

Yeah, this is...

We've talked a lot about this together.

It's...

We're kind of both a little amazed at times that we are in such an involved relationship and that it just continues to go deeper and continue to get closer.

Particularly coming from the places that we both were in, which was... very independent, um, very kind of spiritually driven and having a spiritual life that was really the, you know, a centerpiece for us and got deep intuitive need to, to move toward the truth of things, uh, in that.

And, and in many ways, um, you know, being through many, you know, a number of other relationships along the way and kind of, and for me anyway, and I think, and I think you've said something similar, Amy is, uh, having a sense of, well, relationships are good, and they sort of satisfied this deep desire to be in relationship, and yet, in some ways, they became a bit of a burden and slowed us down in our spiritual process, and so kind of come into terms with that, and And like we said, developing a certain independence in those relationships and in our life in general, being very self-sufficient in many ways.

But never really feeling, never really losing, which I think is really interesting that we both kind of had this dream, this deep intuitive sense of, never losing that vision that, you know, That just an amazing relationship and really being and feeling in union and connected with somebody that that was possible and that we wanted that.

I mean, we really wanted that.

And just how strange that we were, you know, we developed such independent personalities in a way.

And yet that's what we really wanted.

I mean, we wanted that more than we wanted to be independent.

Yeah, and strange that we even knew to want that, as we've talked about a lot.

We didn't see good relationships growing up.

We had some decent relationships, but nothing like this in the past.

You know, always trying to move toward this, but kind of being disappointed eventually.

in many ways, yet both of us, as we got together and compared notes, I mean, really just had this strong sense that it was out there, it was possible.

Maybe it wouldn't happen for us in this lifetime, is what I think we both arrived at, hence the independence and kind of this resolve, or maybe not a resolve, but just a... kind of coming to terms with like, yeah, we're probably going to end up alone and that's okay.

And a real, I think, acceptance of solitude.

Yeah.

It's like, solitude's good.

I can get a lot of work done.

Yeah.

Serious work.

And that seems to be the best that I can expect.