Memories from the past

so this past few weeks has been interesting and maybe like a bit difficult it's money money is making things difficult i need money money money money i need money but yeah it's it's i want to say i'm thankful for life yeah But at the same time, you know where you're in that balance of, oh Lord, I'm thankful for everything you're doing in my life.

And I'm grateful.

But there's also like a particular need that you want God to do.

And you're really praying and hoping and believing and prophesying and decreeing.

and decreeing like god please do this thing for me do you guys like that's that that's um to space is very it's very just it's just difficult to to be in i don't know how to explain it it's very just being in that space of being thankful and also believing is is it's crazy and let's not even talk about or what if you then keep praying and this particular prayer doesn't get answered what do you then do like is the christian journey i'm not talking about the christian this episode is not about the christian journey but it's just where i am right now like especially this morning this morning basically i woke up with a a heavy mess yeah in my heart about how navigating being thankful for all the things that you know that God is doing and currently doing and has done in your life like being thankful you can see the testimony you're even living in a particular testimony yeah but also still believing for For other things, because if he doesn't do that, then it's more like war is the essence of the other testimony.

But it doesn't really make sense because that first testimony is making you believe for other things.

Do you understand? I hope you understood what I just said.

but yeah um yeah the christian journey is is not an easy one i don't think it is i know that particularly i have been in season where i have been on fire there's a season where i've just been uh but yeah like constantly daily just trying to be better people better christian and funny thing is that i was i was watching an instagram view and i think this lady kiki palmer was talking about how just being a good person doesn't mean that life is going to bring good things your way And it basically, for a minute, I sat with it.

And I'm like, huh.

Just being, like, this is not even being a good Christian.

It's not even being a Christian.

It's just being a good person.

Because there are a lot of people that will be like, oh, I'm a good person.

Maybe I don't steal.

Rather, but yeah, I don't steal.

I've not killed anybody.

Maybe I don't gossip.

Then maybe I'm supposed to, like, Maybe good things are supposed to come my way because I don't do these things.

life is not that way and it's crazy how really to be honest especially in Hollywood movies it's being played of oh just because you're a good person you've done good things you've done good deeds then it's gonna come back to you or no not like good deeds might come back to you but just more about just because you say you're a good person doesn't mean that oh life itself is gonna be good to you As my pastor usually say, there are some things you need to take by force.

Even the Bible says the kingdom of God suffers violence and violence, you take it by force.

There are some things that you need to take by force, by fire.

You need to go and settle it in the prayer room, in the prayer closet as a Christian, because I'm speaking as a Christian.

um there are things that you need to go and like tackle it with god basically and say god look here i feel like i'm even talking to myself because i'm like i'm at that point of like what is happening what is happening what is happening uh

i need an answer i need an answer

So, but yes, I'm really, really sad with what the lady said about how just you think that you're a good person doesn't mean good things will come your way.