Sep 8, 2026 · 11 min · 9 segments
What if changing one tiny word could change the way you talk to yourself? In this episode of Building Confidence, we're talking about the surprisingly powerful difference between "and" and "but"—and…
All right, so and and but.
We often use them interchangeably, but sometimes they can have a really different vibe.
Now, this kind of come up in a situation with one of my coaching girls, and she was talking about friendship groups, all right? She's like, I've got two really good friends, but I also really miss having a big group of friends.
And often when we use but, it's kind of like, all of this, but this situation totally undermines that other situation.
Like, whatever about that.
Like, I've got all of these skills, but I'm missing this skill.
And it puts that focus onto whatever we're butting.
But I would like to have a big group of friends, but I am missing this skill, but I don't have enough money in my savings, but I'm but my house isn't the nicest, but my toolbox isn't the greatest, you know, but my car isn't the greatest, but all of these things.
And they kind of minimize what we've got now.
You've got a toolbox that's functioning now.
You've got a car that's functioning now that gets you to A and B. You've got a house that you're living in that is safe and secure.
like all of these things.
And when we add but in there, we kind of minimize all of that.
All right.
And like, I gave a whole list of examples, but the two things that it really comes up for me personally, and I see impact like women is in the skills space and in the community and friendship space.
All right, so and and but.
We often use them interchangeably, but sometimes they can have a really different vibe.
Now, this kind of come up in a situation with one of my coaching girls, and she was talking about friendship groups, all right? She's like, I've got two really good friends, but I also really miss having a big group of friends.
And often when we use but, it's kind of like, all of this, but this situation totally undermines that other situation.
Like, whatever about that.
Like, I've got all of these skills, but I'm missing this skill.
And it puts that focus onto whatever we're butting.
But I would like to have a big group of friends, but I am missing this skill, but I don't have enough money in my savings, but I'm but my house isn't the nicest, but my toolbox isn't the greatest, you know, but my car isn't the greatest, but all of these things.
And they kind of minimize what we've got now.
You've got a toolbox that's functioning now.
You've got a car that's functioning now that gets you to A and B. You've got a house that you're living in that is safe and secure.
like all of these things.
And when we add but in there, we kind of minimize all of that.
All right.
And like, I gave a whole list of examples, but the two things that it really comes up for me personally, and I see impact like women is in the skills space and in the community and friendship space.
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