Ep 80: Fertility, Friendship and the Stories We Don't Tell: Elisabeth Easther on Seed

How do friendships survive when the people we love are experiencing the very thing we're desperately longing for, avoiding, grieving or questioning? In this episode of *Between The Lines*, we're joined by New Zealand actor, journalist, playwright and author Elisabeth Easther to discuss her novel *Seed*. The story follows four women navigating very different experiences of fertility, pregnancy and motherhood. Hilary desperately wants a baby. Maggie is happily navigating life as a single mother. Shelley is returning to work after having two children. And Virginia, who has spent her career caring for other people's babies, suddenly decides she wants one of her own. Their lives may look very different, but their experiences collide in ways that are funny, messy, uncomfortable and deeply human. Elisabeth shares how *Seed* grew from her own experiences of pregnancy loss and fertility treatment, alongside the very different reproductive experiences of women around her. While she was trying desperately to become pregnant, friends were experiencing unexpected pregnancies, miscarriage and abortion. Some felt unable to tell her what was happening in their own lives because they wanted to protect her. That experience planted one of the most compelling ideas in the novel: even among close friends, the things we don't say to protect one another can sometimes create distance instead. We talk about how fertility can completely change the dynamics of friendship, the strange transition from spending years trying not to become pregnant to suddenly desperately wanting pregnancy to happen, and the enormous variety of experiences hidden behind the seemingly simple question of whether someone wants children. And despite the subject matter, *Seed* is also very funny. Elisabeth brings warmth and humour to experiences that are complicated, painful and sometimes absurd. ### In this episode we discuss: - The personal fertility experiences that inspired *Seed* - Pregnancy loss and Elisabeth's experience of fertility treatment - The many different ways women experience pregnancy and motherhood - Why friends sometimes hide difficult news in an attempt to protect each other - How fertility and parenting can change friendships - Comparing ourselves with friends whose lives have taken different paths - The complicated politics of parenting and even playdates - Why humour belongs alongside grief and difficult experiences - Writing four women whose lives and choices are very different - Why the characters don't need identical happy endings - How *Seed* travelled from novel to award-winning play and back to novel again - Elisabeth's experience narrating the audiobook herself - The value of editorial feedback and allowing a story to change - Why authentic characters need flaws, uncertainty and hope *Seed* is a funny, compassionate and refreshingly honest exploration of friendship, fertility and the enormous gap between how we imagine our lives will unfold and how they actually do.