S4 E2: Throw the Bedtime Rulebook in the Bin: Neurodivergent Kids and Sleep

So the, I, I-- this has been a really interesting conversation, but what I think I would like to sort of finish with, if you like, is for the parents out there who found this really useful, obviously I'm gonna link all your details in the show notes, so there'll be a plethora of people who are looking up your website right now and downloading your freebie as we speak.

But, um, how do you support sort of parents who are exhausted and anxious and blaming themselves? If we've got people listening that think, "Right, I need to go and look Michelle up, and I need to work with her," what are the-- without giving away all your trade secrets, obviously, what are the first kind of practical steps that you advise that people maybe look at?

Yeah.

So first off, I'd say, you know, these parents are not alone.

The amount of people I hear say on a free call with me that, you know, they feel like, "It's, it's probably my fault because..."

Mm.

And they've kinda-- they're always looking for a reason to blame themselves.

And I always say, "You know, this is no one's fault.

You have just been doing whatever you can for your child and your whole family to just get as much sleep as possible." So, you know, we're not looking for any blame or anything here, so we need to, like, take that off our sh- and just think about how can we help you navigate your evenings.

Because so many parents dread bedtime, absolutely dread it.

They have had years of difficult, challenging bedtimes.

All the joy has been taken out of bedtime.

So what I would say to them is, "What we wanna do is we wanna help you, you bring joy back into your bedtimes with your child and for you, because it shouldn't be that difficult." Show you how it can be easier, and you will enjoy doing bedtime again.

In terms of a piece of practical advice for them to kind of think about straight away is, I think you said it as well, about earlier on, where, you know, you may think, "Oh gosh, I just want them to fall asleep.

You know, it's the end of the day." So bedtime always comes at the end of the day.

We're so run down and depleted ourselves.

We're going into bedtime with really nothing left to give.

You may have been co-regulating with your child since they, like, their mask dropped at the end of school, um, they came out of the school gates, or maybe you've been co-regulating with them all day.

It's exhausting.

So very often we just continue parenting.

We don't step out of parenting.

So I would encourage the listeners to just take a breath for themselves.

Step out of parenting.

If that is five minutes, if that is 10 minutes, 15 minutes, go for-- If you can leave the house and leave your children and there's somebody else around and it's safe, obviously, maybe depending on their ages, step out of parenting and go for a walk.

Or if you can't do that, like, go into the garden, like, water the garden.