Dharmette: Right Speech (5 of 5) Timely

So hello everyone and welcome to this fifth and last talk on right speech, wise speech.

And maybe we can consider it considered speech.

The part of Buddhist life is much more than just being mindful.

It's also being considered, being thoughtful of what we do.

And to be thoughtful in a way that feels more like you're a contemplative, you're deeply thinking in a way that warms your heart, that feels part of a peaceful life, part of a generous life, a compassionate life, a caring life.

And to discover how to think and how to speak at the right way, the right time, so that our speech can be a gift to the world and rather than a weapon, rather than a bullet to the world.

And some people use their speech more as weapons, more as knives to stab, verbal knives, the Buddha called it.

But rather to have words that are beneficial, supportive.

They don't have to be Pollyannish.

They don't have to be excessively sweet.

They can be very direct and very engaged or taking seriously some of the issues of our life and issues we have and challenges we have.

And to speak directly into what's uncomfortable.

And so yesterday's criteria was to pay attention to the impact and try to have a good impact.

Try to speak in ways that are pleasing, that where your words are gifts.

However, the Buddha recognized that this particular part of the five-part audit, the impact thing, might not always, might not work that way all the time.

That sometimes we have to say something that's disagreeable for someone, something that makes them uncomfortable, something they have to hear.

And it's not agreeable.

They don't agree or they're not pleased to hear this.

There might be some important feedback you have to give them or some important information you want to tell them about the impact they've had on you by their behavior.

And you have to really sit down and have an honest conversation about it and talk about some difficulty that exists between you.

So simply to wait until you can say that in a way that's pleasing will never work because it's going to be a difficult conversation.

And so the other criteria then become important.

Is it true? Is it accurate? Is it really useful what you're going to say? Some people are not ready to hear anything.

Some people you can exhaust yourself in trying over and over and over again to get through to them and get them to even having a conversation with you.

And it seems impossible.