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Ask The Nincompoops

Ask The Nincompoops

Term 4 Lesson 1: Why Don't Trees Grow On Trees?

Sep 5, 2026 · 13 min · 8 segments

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a…

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. This episode's questions are... - WHY DON'T TREES GROW ON TREES? (Jack, 9) - WHEN WAS THE TENT INVENTED? (Etienne, 8) - WHY DO THINGS HAVE NAMES? (Charlie, 7) - CAN ANTS JUMP? (Will, 13) It's time to....ASK THE NINCOMPOOPS! This podcast is suitable for all the family. If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! * * * Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a…

Speakers: Andy StantonHostCarrie QuinlanHost

Show signals: Audience≈397 followers

Spotify Apple Podcasts YouTube Amazon Music

Top entities: Andy Stanton×6 Carrie Quinlan×7 Acast×8 Stapler×4 NBA×3

Why Don’t Trees Grow on Trees?1:16 – 4:30

N

NarratorNarrator

1:16

Jack 9 asks, why don't trees grow on trees?

Andy StantonHost

1:25

Well.

Carrie QuinlanHost

1:26

Well.

Andy StantonHost

1:26

There are laws, you know.

Andy StantonHost

1:27

There are such things as laws in this country, Jack.

Carrie QuinlanHost

1:30

We have standards,

Andy StantonHost

1:31

Jack.

Andy StantonHost

1:32

We have expectations, Jack.

Carrie QuinlanHost

1:33

We have rulers and plug sockets, Jack.

Andy StantonHost

1:37

We have behavioural norms, Jack.

Carrie QuinlanHost

1:40

We have a constitutional monarchy.

Andy StantonHost

1:43

We have...

Carrie QuinlanHost

1:45

Jack.

Andy StantonHost

1:46

We have certain restrictions, limitations and legal requirements, Jack.

Carrie QuinlanHost

1:51

Yeah, we have a fundamental rule of law, Jack.

Andy StantonHost

1:56

Yeah, Jack, it can't just be chaos, Jack.

Andy StantonHost

1:58

It can't just be...

Andy StantonHost

1:59

We have habeas corpus.

Andy StantonHost

2:01

Yes, we blimmin' well do, Jack.

Andy StantonHost

2:02

No one

Carrie QuinlanHost

2:02

knows what it means, Jack, but we have it.

Andy StantonHost

2:05

Yeah.

Andy StantonHost

2:05

Oh, we have it

Carrie QuinlanHost

2:06

right up.

Andy StantonHost

2:07

And it's brilliant.

Andy StantonPersonChildren's writer
95%6 mentions
Carrie QuinlanPersonBritish actress and comedy writer
86%7 mentions
AcastCompanyAdvertising agency company
77%8 mentions
StaplerEntity
68%4 mentions
NBASports OrganizationLeague
59%3 mentions
GmailWebsiteWeb site
50%1 mention
CoffeemakerEntity
41%2 mentions
Postage meterEntityMetering device
32%2 mentions
NikeEntity
23%1 mention
riddleEntity
14%1 mention
EarthPlacePlanet
5%1 mention

Absurd QuestionsEntertainment > Comedy > Humor > Children's Humor
Legal ConceptsSociety > Cultural Norms > Behavioral Expectations
Rule of LawSociety > Cultural Norms > Behavioral Expectations > Legal Concepts
Plant GrowthNature > Trees > Botany
EcologyNature > Trees > Botany > Plant Growth
Jumping AbilityAnimals > Insects > Ants > Behavior
Society
Child DevelopmentEducation
CuriosityEducation > Child Development
Behavioral ExpectationsSociety > Cultural Norms
HumorEntertainment > Comedy
QuestioningEducation > Child Development > Curiosity
BotanyNature > Trees
Cultural NormsSociety
AntsAnimals > Insects
TreesNature
InsectsAnimals
Children's HumorEntertainment > Comedy > Humor
Learning ProcessEducation > Child Development > Curiosity > Questioning
BehaviorAnimals > Insects > Ants
Education
Entertainment
Nature
Animals
ComedyEntertainment

Why Don’t Trees Grow on Trees?1:16 – 4:30

N

NarratorNarrator

1:16

Jack 9 asks, why don't trees grow on trees?

Andy StantonHost

1:25

Well.

Carrie QuinlanHost

1:26

Well.

Andy StantonHost

1:26

There are laws, you know.

Andy StantonHost

1:27

There are such things as laws in this country, Jack.

Carrie QuinlanHost

1:30

We have standards,

Andy StantonHost

1:31

Jack.

Andy StantonHost

1:32

We have expectations, Jack.

Carrie QuinlanHost

1:33

We have rulers and plug sockets, Jack.

Andy StantonHost

1:37

We have behavioural norms, Jack.

Carrie QuinlanHost

1:40

We have a constitutional monarchy.

Andy StantonHost

1:43

We have...

Carrie QuinlanHost

1:45

Jack.

Andy StantonHost

1:46

We have certain restrictions, limitations and legal requirements, Jack.

Carrie QuinlanHost

1:51

Yeah, we have a fundamental rule of law, Jack.

Andy StantonHost

1:56

Yeah, Jack, it can't just be chaos, Jack.

Andy StantonHost

1:58

It can't just be...

Andy StantonHost

1:59

We have habeas corpus.

Andy StantonHost

2:01

Yes, we blimmin' well do, Jack.

Andy StantonHost

2:02

No one

Carrie QuinlanHost

2:02

knows what it means, Jack, but we have it.

Andy StantonHost

2:05

Yeah.

Andy StantonHost

2:05

Oh, we have it

Carrie QuinlanHost

2:06

right up.

Andy StantonHost

2:07

And it's brilliant.

What Radar found in this episode

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Clips

3 of 6

FUNNY0:43
Ants Take Over Basketball
The hosts answer a simple question outrageously
FUNNY0:19
When Nature Fights AI
The mailbag becomes a battle against nature
BEST STORY0:26
The Oak Tree Apocalypse
One innocent question becomes an ecological nightmare

+3 more clips · 2 min 16 sec of audio in all

Topics

7 of 25

Absurd Questions
Legal Concepts
Rule of Law
Plant Growth
Ecology
Jumping Ability
Society
+18 more

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