Friday Focus: Be Quick to Listen | James 1:19

Quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.

These come from James 1:19 through 20.

It says, "So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.

For the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God." I don't know about you, but I am not naturally very good at that order.

[laughs] Sometimes I'm quick to speak, quick to have an opinion, quick to explain myself, and then somewhere way down the list comes listening.

Have you ever been in a conversation where technically you're listening, but really you're just waiting for the other person to stop talking so that you can say what you've already decided you're going to say? You're hearing their words, but in your head you're building your defense, or correcting something they said, or thinking, "That's not what happened," or, "Okay, but you don't understand my side." We're not really listening anymore.

We're preparing our response.

And James says, "Be quick to hear." I think there's something really interesting about the order here.

Listening comes first.

Then we're told to be slow to speak.

There's a pause built into that.

I don't have to respond to everything immediately.

I don't have to correct every misunderstanding the second it happens.

I don't have to say every thought that comes into my head, and I definitely don't have to win every disagreement.

Sometimes wisdom looks like being quiet long enough to actually understand the person in front of me.

And then James says, "Be slow to anger," because those things are connected, aren't they? [laughs] When I'm not listening well, I'm much more likely to misunderstand.

When I am determined to make my point, I'm much more likely to become frustrated when somebody doesn't agree with me.

And when I'm angry, I'm usually not doing a very good job listening.

So then in verse 20, it gives us the reason for this.

"For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God." And that is convicting, because I can convince myself that my anger is justified because I'm right, and maybe I am right.

But being right doesn't automatically make the way that I respond righteous, right? I can have a legitimate concern and handle it poorly.

I can be correct about the facts and still speak without love.

I can win the argument and completely miss an opportunity to behave like Christ.

So here's what I want us to practice this weekend.

When somebody says something that immediately makes you want to respond, pause, and then remember, quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.