And

my lack of a relationship with him was reflected in the immense amount of grief and pain and haunting that I felt with her passing.

And it was a very unceremonious passing, and it was a passing that was very much dictated by his control over what I could not or could get access to.

And not having access to him, I didn't have access to his mother and my grandmother, who played such an important role in... you know, feeding me and giving me security in a very turbulent time in my life.

And when I lost her, I think it was during a very pivotal point of my life where I was going through an immense amount of self-destruction.

So I've talked to Jim about this in the past, but there was this period of my life where I was being hounded by this kind of spectral crone that I would see constantly.

And I would see this figure or this, I call it, I would see a feeling.

And that was very similar to kind of an experience that you continue to have, right? It feels like that's picked from your story.