Can I talk to a lawyer if I'm only thinking about separation or does that mean that we've started something legal?

Well, I think the simple answer to that is yes.

You can absolutely speak to someone.

I think just like with anything, you know, how do we as a community inform and educate each other to make really wise, well-informed decisions? And, you know, when you do decide or if you're in the decision-making process of whether you wish to be, you know...

married or in a de facto relationship and then separate, you do need to consider a whole lot of factors which maybe you haven't actually thought about or you actually haven't turned your mind to.

And so, you know, as you said so beautifully in the intro, you know, how do you divide what is most precious to you? How do you share what's most precious to you? How do you work out, you know, your assets and the parenting aspects of it? but also to be forewarned and to be forearmed and to sort of know, okay, this is how it's going to happen if we make that decision.

And also just the practicalities of it.

At what point, I suppose the question is, at what point do and are children able to have a say on where they go?

Now, Vincent, when it comes to family law, one of the things that I often think about when it comes to separation or divorce, and I think it's become more common these days, is the pets yes how do we manage pets on this you know in in the difficult times like you've got obviously husband wife kids but then you've got Fido you know or you've got you know the cat or how do we how do we delineate where these where the pets go in a separation or a divorce situation

They are such an important part of families.

And I think one of the things which I've been picking up the more I practice is how symbolic they are and how emotionally attached parents or spouses or even the children are attached to Fido or their pets.

And so...

One of the things which I've been looking at is that the law has evolved over the last couple of years, and what we see now is a situation where you actually can ask the court to make a decision with regards to who keeps the family pet.

Now, they're called something a little different now.

They're called companion animals.

Like, costs because sometimes people can feel like i can't afford to separate i can't afford to break the marriage down which obviously we never want to see that happen but sometimes the reality is that it gets to that point when someone's feeling in that space about cost can i afford to it is this something that is you know do i have to stay in the house with them like how do we manage that and what sort of thought processes should people be thinking about in that space

like it's a big question

oh huge and i think in order to actually unpack all of that you've really got to go all the way back up to the very top which is what we are encouraged to let mums and dads and parents know is that if possible to have a conversation And the law actually encourages parents to have conversations about major long-term decisions for the children.

So when you look at those really, really big decisions, you know, you talk about pupil free days, that is under the subsection of education.

You talk about health, you talk about issues of faith.

But of course, when you have that conversation, especially with someone who, where trust and confidence isn't really at an all-time high in that season, it is really, really hard.

And so that's where, you know, when you're looking at trying to get a plan or something in writing in place to be able to rely on the various community resources that we have, such as mediators and family dispute resolution practitioners to help facilitate that conversation is the most crucial piece of advice that I could give.

Of course, you know, there is always in any relationship someone who has taken on the majority of the homemaking and the majority of the parenting.

How does that all work?