And if you had to take a high level situation that you've been through, um, and you can share as much or as little as you'd like that comes to mind, what was that situation? Let's practice just putting into that framework for a moment.

Um, it's so tough because I want to respect like everyone's stories and journeys.

And I choose to be on the internet and people that I love and, and, you know, don't, but I think if I had to give like a replacement example, um, um, it would, it could be like, uh, um, let's maybe it's this, this could be an example, like me and someone I'm very close to decided, like, we are not going to apply to college.

We are going to stay in our small town and we're going to work hard on the family and uh, farm.

And that is the life we've agreed.

We both want to do, and we're choosing that.

And the other person has been encouraging of me to do that.

So I'm curious if that's

What was the main trigger for you to really have these suicidal ideations?

I think it was just the routine and demand of my life.

I do think things are a little different now, maybe even more wild because of the NIL stuff and the content and the brands and the work.

The pressure of everything.

Yeah.

But at least when I was a college athlete, I mean, six hour practice block, full units of class, lifting, training, coaches meetings, film.

I just felt like I was waking up On autopilot.

No.

Oh, literally.

Nothing gets me going more than that.

I was a ghost of myself, and I remember my mom, and like m- and like miserable and like crying all the time.

I was in a major depressive episode, and my mom was like, "That's it," like, "I'm pulling you off this team." Like, "What room is your coach in?" I'm knocking on the door and saying like, "You're coming home with me," and like, "You need a break." And I was like, "No, you can't."

I know

... diving video because I feel like we've just clicked ever since.

And yeah, your episode on RealPod was so special.

I feel like when I asked you or we were talking about it, you hadn't been on that many shows before, which is crazy to me because you're literally such a natural and like-