what was the what was the lens you were looking for with those 10 years

I think I was just trying to figure out you know who I was right I had a um my childhood was very disruptive And so I couldn't figure out who I wanted to be.

I didn't have the greatest role models.

I didn't know what I wanted to be.

I didn't grow up with my birth father, who's Indian.

I saw him on weekends.

So it was a very different way of life.

I think I still, there's almost, I still want to just stay with you for a moment because there's about, when you talked about that, that could, like, reinforce it, reinforcement, contemplating reinforcement, because, you know, did you have to go through that? And, like, what was the shift for you to kind of really see that you were kind of reinforcing stuff and to let go, if you could, like, if you could share it at all?