Mm-hmm

... you know, a- as far as why you would, why you would cling to something.

But, um, I think in my mind I thought, "You know, this is gonna be fixed when we're married, you know, and I can meet these needs for him," you know? And so [laughs] going into marriage and, you know, dealing with this even within our first week on our honeymoon, um, I wa- it, it was very hurtful, and I think it, it made me feel even, even at the beginning like, what, you know, why, why isn't he waiting for me for these things? Or like, why can't I meet that need for him or, or whatever it, you know, the lie may be.

Um, and initially, like with, you know, he would come and confess, and I think one thing that really, [lip smacks] uh, I knew it weighed on him very heavily.

You know, he would, he would come a- like if, if he had been struggling with pornography or looking at pornography, he, he would not, you know, be with me without confessing that first, you know? And so I think that- There were many moments where the Holy Spirit really was like, you know, reminded me of how much I've been forgiven of.

Yep

YepSo when we, when you're not forthcoming, what happens is the trust gets broken down, and over, and over, and over.

And, um, that really eats at, at us.

I mean, So the call of God on her life and her responsiveness, even no matter how sloppy or broken or whatever that is, that's remarkable to me, honestly.

Yeah.

Yeah, definitely.

And I think...

She was hungry and she got really plugged into a singles group here at the church.

And I just remember that season was so pivotal for me even now.

And I just remember she just towed us around to all these singles events.

Um, you talked about, you know, being 16 and then shared a little bit about, um, know the some of the experiences around that but where would you like to pick up your story and kind of catch up to where uh you you maybe not where you first met brandon uh sorry brendan but you know in in those months or years of your life