They go

hand in hand.

And, you know, I think about my grandmother.

She, you know, on the face of it, she was quite a stern, sometimes impersonal, cold person.

But I knew there was a soft centre.

And one day after she died, I did some research and found the log of her arrival into the country.

in the ship log so I went through ancestry.co.uk and did all of that and it's amazing what you can find these things and it it had her um details on there and I was like oh my god you know so I blew it up and in that discovery I realized and this is not an unusual thing with people in the Caribbean community, maybe the African one as well, is that her birthday was completely different to what we had all thought, right? Completely different.

To you or to others?