How do these six fit together? And why do you sequence them the way you do?

First of all, I think we wanted a very, not simple, practical, applicable framework where people feel like they had a playbook.

And the question, the target actions answer are how can I strengthen my ability to navigate through all this difference and help the people around me do it too, right? So we got to model it and we got to talk about it and we got to do it.

So the six target actions, first, it starts with us inside ourselves.

It starts in knowing you and I'll cover the first two and then Les, you can, you can carry on.

But the first two, it's really, you know, intra, we have two relationships, intrapersonal, that's relationship with self and interpersonal, that's relationship with others.

Before we can be effective with others, we have to be effective inside ourselves.

What are leaders grappling with now that they may not have five years ago? And I think you alluded to the introduction to AI being one of them.

How do these six, uh, fit together, and why do they, why do you sequence them the way you do?

First of all, I think we wanted a very, uh, not simple, practical, applicable framework where people feel like they had a playbook.

Like, and, and the question the target actions answer are, how can I strengthen my ability to navigate through all this difference and help the people around me do it too, right? So we gotta model it, and we gotta talk about it, and we gotta do it.

So, um, the six target actions, um, it starts with us inside ourselves.

It starts in knowing you, and I'll, I'll cover the first two, and then Les, you can, you can carry on.

But the first two, it's really, you know, intra-- We have two relationships, intrapersonal, that's relationship with self, and interpersonal, that's relationship with others.

Before we can be effective with others, we have to be effective inside ourselves.

What are leaders, um, grappling with now that, uh, they may not have five years ago? And I think you alluded to the-- or introduction to AI being one of them.

So what, what did you say here that wasn't said in those books? What, what have we got from your life experience? What'd you bring, what'd you bring to this book?

Um, well- ...

Stu and Le- Stu and Les.

I mean, so, so look, this, the story behind the work that I've done has to do with, um, what kind of conversations, how constructive are the conversations we're having, um, with ourselves in our own minds, and how does that impact our relationships? And so I gotta clean up my own thought about returning to curiosity, um, being kinder and gentler to myself.

Uh, you know, three out of four of these past books are really for women and, and how we get in our own way and our own advancement and career opportunities.

Uh, and it occurred to me, um, you know, over the last 10 years that every time I worked with a group of women, they wanted to talk about the guys.

And, um, and [laughs] I- that was just so interesting.

I want you to hit, I want you to hit this for me because the book is speaking differently than these other books.

I just find that they have zero accountability, which is a different

situation.

So accountability comes along with humility, right? So when I think about accountability, I have to think of myself as a fellow traveler, right? So I am not above the rules.

I don't get to play one game while the people around me play another.

Especially if I want people to perform on my watch, I better be performing alongside them.

I better be saying, hey, if I want people to be accountable, I have a virtual team, 100% virtual team, and I have for seven since the pandemic.

And we got someone out in California who's in a different time zone.

ADD will kick in.

So where are you now?

Where am I now? Well, I think big picture, I think I am learning the practice and building the muscle of coming home to myself over and over and over and learning what that is, really, which is an amalgamation, as you can imagine, of all of what I just described.

So, you know, I love Broadway.

In fact, I, as God would have it, I met these two beautiful Broadway stars a couple summers ago with my friend Jillian.

And One of them is a male lead in Schmigadoon, and the other is the director, Chris Gatelli, and the choreographer of Schmigadoon, and they just won the Tony for Best Musical.

So, like, even the universe is conspiring.

And by the way, I met them on the vineyard, okay? Oh, that's crazy.

There's no shame in that.

yeah,

thank you.

Thank you for the question.

It was actually one of my sort of intellectual heroes and a partner of Stu's, who is the best-selling author of Difficult Conversations and also involved with the whole Getting to Yes movement, Bruce Patton, who was the one that pointed out this is more important than strategy.

And he was kind enough to give us a fairly lengthy endorsement of this work.

So I'd say my answer to this question is, comes from my personal experience, having spent the last mainly 10 years working with organizations who are not happy with the amount of women rising into senior leadership roles.

And so not only did I write books for women themselves to help them navigate their career, I worked as an executive advisor with CEOs and C-suites on how do we create an environment where you're saying, you know, we're losing women, they're not rising, they're not advancing.

But to really be vulnerable really takes a step in a huge direction.

Mm

... uh, that is happening now is creating, um, an opportunity for value creation.

And so when we think about difference, seen and unseen differences being, um, an opportunity for value, it's actions that leaders take in the moment that are gonna drive, that are gonna determine whether value is depleted or frankly created.

Um, and so we do have, um, the six target actions.

Thanks for asking me about that.

Uh, you know, I'll give you the first two.

Uh, they do build on one another.Uh, and it starts with, you know, understanding ourselves and regulating ourselves under pressure.

Mm-hmm