[laughs]

Um...

And they tell you, like you're putting on a comedy show, and they're like, "What is the show?" And you go, "It's funny." And they're like, "No, you can't just do a funny show in 2026." And she was like, "Sommat must have happened to you.

What was school like?" And I was like, "School was fine." And she was like, "Sommat must have happened at school." And I was like, "Not really." I said, "Well, the school got burnt down three times.

So in the end, the council just didn't rebuild it, and they sent us to the school in the next town." And she went, "[gasps] That must have been awful, Steven." I was like, "No, it was totally fine."

[laughs] Stephen, why do you think fighting is the best medicine?

I think it covers a lot of things in particularly mental, but I think it really releases those things that we do need to get rid of.

And so I just think for confidence, and I take you back for the tenets.

goes, no,

you should be thinking about it.

Anyway, over the year...

I was thinking about it a lot.

I think Hayley probably was just thinking no.

But I went to an event with the senior youth kids where the bishop...

From Armidale, Rod Chiswell was speaking.

Do you know where you're at after having had a year of college? Have you moved in any direction? What do you think about what life looks like on the other end of your studies and ministry?

Lovely wee, yeah.

I didn't expect what to happen next.

I walked down the stairs, and I was like, "Oh, my God." And it was almost like I'd gone into...

It wasn't like I was seeing a ghost.

It was like I'd gone into a trance and almost stepped into the past or something.

We can't.

And then they... [laughs] I know.

So I interned at this magazine, and one day they were like, "Oh, we'd love you to interview this psychic chef." So the idea was he made you a meal whilst reading you.

So, like, really start profiling not just the user, but some of their moments, their background, their geography, stuff like that, because it will really help you be creative on your messaging versus, hey, by the way, this week.

Yeah, I mean, we could certainly be better at that.

I think that...

this kind of question, it's different for each industry, right? Like I feel like there's some of the big guys have been so good at this for so long and they offer so many things to so many different people.

But because they're huge, each one of those categories, like the baby section at a massive, massive department store might as well be its own company, right? Like the amount of work that's going in there.

So there's more people focusing on those individual components or those individual areas within the within the business.

Now, for us, we don't offer baby products.

What was some of the hardest operational realities of that shift?

Genius.

I'm not even joking.

And we end up going on a date.

But he's, he was in Manchester.

And at the time, I was full-time living in London.

But the train was delayed.

Mm.

And we were me- meeting straight off the train.

Yeah.

And then I died on my ass for a year.

But it was so important, I think, to die.

So with the, with the stand-up, I just kept at it, and I was like, I tried to write, like, um...

I was like, "Right, every, every stand-up has a nectar card joke.

I'm gonna have a nectar card joke." And it was horrific.

And then [laughs] a comedian said to me one night, he said, "You are so funny when we're sat here, and you're telling your stories about when you met Pixie Lott or how your housemate is, like, sleeping with a rotation" Like, my housemate who I used to live with, she used to have a Wednesday, a Thursday, a Friday, a Saturday man, and they would just come, and she'd have some days to herself, and da, da.

Mm.

[laughs]

I just wanna dance.

Um, but I remember actually, just on the Alan thing, was, um, we were filming Tiptoe, as you mentioned in the intro, and I was so nervous.

So I'm from a council estate.

It took...

I got into telly a lot later.

And, um, I, so I did Tiptoe, and I had the best time.

Stop.

Yeah, you can't drag everyone else with you through the door.

Yeah.

So I can see sometimes the point-- I mean, obviously, if he's done all that horrific stuff, then it's not that great.

But I can see the point of going, "Well, I've got this.

I need to keep all this because I don't want to go back to that." Because like you're saying-

[laughing]

Um, I think what he was achieved is undeniable.

I think there are so many, like, husbands out there that are having an affairs, maybe with gay earrings, maybe with gay men, and I can only respect that.

I have literally split up with someone over that

Gorgeous.

I've just washed my hair.

I've not, I've not styled it

And final fact, not one, yes, not one of the Star Trek TV shows actually contains the words, "Beam me up, Scotty

Soy milk.

Dairy gives me the shits these days

[laughing]

-to my tour show in Manchester, and she, who I've never met, DM'd me afterwards and was like, "Oh, you might know my husband." And I said, "Why didn't you come and say hi?" And he was like-- She was like, um, "Oh, well, we didn't wanna bother you." But he can't get over how you are on stage 'cause he said, "You didn't talk."

Durham downs.

And, um, and now-- And since being in here, I'm like, "Oh my god, people, 'cause of my accent and 'cause I'm camp and frivolous," which I appreciate I am camp and frivolous, uh, um, think I'm thick.

And you go, "No, I'm fluent in French, and I have, I have a degree in French and, um, linguistics."