Yeah

... to a party, their first thought is, "Oh, no, now I have to do that, too." They don't even think, "What if I said no," right? [laughs] So there's that first sort of check-in with the self.

Um, do I want to go? What is my yes about? What is my no about? What's driving that? Is my yes true? Is it a true yes? I really do want to go, and great.

Or is my no more true, and why? So there's that step.

Then the articulating is a practice over time, and then the next step is tolerating the feelings that come up when you deliver the message.

And that's, that's what I love about this work is that w- the reason we don't communicate boundaries is we're fearing what we're gonna feel if we think we've disappointed someone, or they're gonna judge us, or what we're gonna do to ourselves afterwards.

That's what we fear, and that's the work that I do with people is like, let's think about how you're gonna feel after.

Mm