What was the catalyst for that? What was some of the collateral damage that literally made you look in the mirror at one point and just say, fuck, I've got to change

something? Yeah, man, I think for me, it was just about...

understanding why I was so unhappy.

I couldn't understand why I was making great money.

I was making a quarter million dollars.

We didn't want for anything.

I wasn't lighting the world on fire.

After, I'm guessing, this initial phase of you kind of emulating an indie

but

it's all I wanted to take.

And my whole thing was, I wanted to be like my uncle, Brian.

I wanted to do what he did because I just, I would see him come home from American Legion game, just covered in red clay.

I'm like, Hell yeah.

I want to do that.

So I would go to every single baseball game.

right? And so when I negotiate

Was there a moment for you? Was there a spark that ignited in you that said, OK, I've got to do something about it? And what was that moment?

I think the biggest things that are ever built are built on some type of pain.

Yeah.

And for me, it was that emotional pain of not understanding myself, not understanding why there was a certain, I guess, governor on the amount of success I could have.

Hmm.

And it hurt me because I always felt I was capable of so much more.

So I just really dug into that, man.

Why did you decide to go that route with everything? And just tell us a little bit about it in general.

Mm-hmm

... unless I was shooting a show.

And I noticed that I was cursing a lot.

There was a lot of F words.

There was a lot of energy because I was still so angry, and I couldn't figure out where it came from.

But then I started to dissect how I felt minute by minute.

And for those that are listening, that's an exhausting process.

Mm.