It's not just intuitively just like, "Oh yeah, I get that." Take me a little bit more into this.

Well, we, we...

Uh, the, the crux of it is we just tend to continue doing whatever we've done because there's a, a huge risk of changing what we're doing, and I think part of it comes down to fear, which is something you've explored a lot on the podcast, fear keeping us in place.

So inertia becomes, we've always done it this way.

These are the arguments, right? We've always done it this way.

Uh, inertia can work for you or against you.

It's a very power- very powerful sort of, uh, physics principle, but it applies to your life.

You know? Like, how do we do that tap to ourselves? Um, like how do we cultivate the skill, the practice to be able to actually do that? Because that's something that, um, needs to precede everything else.

Mm-hmm.

You know? And they're not very practical.

There's spreadsheets, there's sort of like decision tree.

I've never really witnessed anybody fill all this out or do that.

But what they're really doing is they're taking you out of the moment, and they're getting you to pause and think.

But if you know you should be pausing and thinking, we're generally pretty good.

We're directionally correct.

Talk to me a little bit about that idea.

Would you tell us a little bit more about that interview?

S- so Carl Pilmer went around and interviewed people, uh, near death, and he said, "What would you like to teach people who have their whole life in front of them? What wisdom do you have that we can share with everybody else?" And it was surprisingly common what people said, right? It was, uh, play by your own scoreboard.

Make sure that you're playing your own game.

You're not listening to other people about what they think is best for you.

You're consciously doing what you think is best for you.Spend more time with family and friends, because that matters way more than you think it does, and you won't realize that until you're basically in your fifties and sixties, ah, when it's really a little later and harder to invest in those relationships.

You can't really make amends at, at that point in time.

You might be able to make it better, but you can't create that bond.

Go on, explain that.

If you know that by, by not watering the grass in this relationship, you know what that's gonna do, why do you stay? Why do, why do people do it, willingly do it, when they know it's going to end poorly?

Because all of the things that we know we should be doing, all the common sense, the obvious actions that we know are gonna result in success, we avoid them because they all require prepayment.

They all require us to do something today, to expend effort, to expend money, to put in time....

in order to get paid in the future, and increasingly, we're unable to sort of make those trade-offs in our head.

You know, if I want to invest in my relationship today, I'm not gonna see the payoff today, but we have to be smarter than that.

We know the payoff's coming.

We, we can foresee that, that, that watering the grass is not only good for our soul on a daily basis, but it's really good for our relationship, and it helps us stay connected to our partner, and it helps us handle the inevitable ups and downs that life is gonna throw at us.

You, you, y- y- you have something that I think a lot of people think they don't have, so what's the point? And I think it's really all in their head.