So Jake, by his own admission, was a spy, and around this time, it prompted Scarlett to do a little spying of her own.

In the top of my printer, you know how you can lift up the lid to scan things? I was looking in there, which is not something I do every day.

This is why it was a few weeks later.

I found the payslip.

It was a cobbled-together, sticky tape and liquid paper, like, arts-and-crafts job.

So it wasn't the payslip.

It was a doctored document.

The more Scarlett thought about it, the more she felt like a hypocrite, and Jake, well, he tended to agree.

It's kind of like this thing she remembers a friend saying at a party.

Yeah, you know when you, like, fart into your hand [laughs] and you catch it and you sniff it? [laughs] And ev- everyone went, "No." [laughs] And they said, "Uh, yeah, me neither." [laughs] It's a bit like one of those.

I think, yeah, if you put it out there that, ah, yeah, you know, you know, you know when you're having a lovely sexy time and someone really cool touches your nipples and you just feel like crying and you feel really homesick and sad and [laughs] despairing, and everyone goes, "What? [laughs] What on earth is that about? Ah, damn it, yeah." And you, you go, "Ah, yeah, me neither."

She's breastfeeding and guess what?

Even before I start feeding, like before my milk comes in, I would have this feeling come over me like something terrible's happened, but because nothing terrible has happened, it feels almost like I'm- I've woken up from a dream and forgotten something terrible.

So, you know, h- have I forgotten that someone's died or like something awful has happened? And then 20 seconds later, my milk would come in.

It's like, yeah, some like d- pure despair or dread.

If you've read Harry Potter [laughs] the Dementors, like coming and sucking all the joy out of you.

You were able to forgive immediately?

I knew that somebody that could do something so heinous must have been in a tremendous amount of pain.

Uh, they, uh...

Actually, the town brought...

One of the trauma specialists brought a mom who had experienced, uh, losing her son to violence 20 years prior, and, uh, at the time, I thought I was gonna die.

It was a few days after, and I was in so much pain that I remember looking at my arm, thinking, "I can't believe there's blood running through it.

I just feel like I'm gonna vanish." And so I was really interested in this woman that they brought in.

I didn't know that