Yeah.

I have a little practice, um, of my own, you know, way of doing the deity practice of, of becoming like the Mother of Compassion, Green Tara, and it's walking through the supermarket or going anywhere and just blessing people.

May you be happy, may you be happy, may you be happy, may you be happy.

It's so ...

It turns my neurosis of, like, self-reference and, and me, mine, and I. I'm so sad.

I'm grieving.

This happened.

Yes.

H- y- why are all the most prestigious universities on the planet coming to you and working with you? What are they seeing? What are they lit up about? What are you studying? How-

You know, and the, the reality is, Emily, like, when I was brought into Harvard, it was to help shape the public, public health discourse about mental health.

There was 15 people that were selected, um, and I was one of them, and the reality is all 14, all, uh, the other 14 people all had clinical training, and I'm-- uh, the only clinical training I have is in being a chaplain, uh, intern, so caring for the sick and dying, and I've only done one unit, which is only 500 hours.

You know, I think my greatest gift is the curiosity, the kinesthetic desperation to experience life in my body, not to read it or to, um, and m-memorize it, but to actually go to the place and, and savor, even if savoring is really disorienting and heartbreaking.

But it's always, I, I feel like the, the choice that I've made...

Like when mom died, six months after mom died...

And I don't recommend this level of insanity, right? Because I've hurt myself, I've been unwell, um, and it's, it's from being nine years sober, then turning that, that sobriety fire towards helping and healing and liberation.

That, that present moment liberation where you're inside of what exactly is.