And so what is that like on a daily basis? Or what is maybe a misconception that people have about working in intensive care?

Yeah, I think despite all of the weight to it, early on I realized the biggest gift in it was really changing my perspective.

Like I remember in critical care training when I was in my first fellowship and like the first time I was really immersed in it every day, day in and day out.

And I was so like angry with the universe that these innocent children and families could go through this suffering.

And I just remember vividly coming home one day and I was upset that the dishes were not done and the apartment wasn't cleaned and the usual day-to-day grind stuff that just sets you off or frustrates you.

And then I go back in and maybe it was a Monday or Tuesday and I come back home and dishes are still there and the apartment is still messy.

But I just remember having this feeling like, we have so much.

It doesn't always translate into reality, into practical reality, but that's just who I am.

And usually that could be that little level of that question, that little bit of curiosity that could take you on your journey towards authenticity or sovereignty or home, take you on your journey back home to yourself.

Yeah, that's so beautiful.

And it's so true.

And I think it really helps us soften and have compassion towards our human experience because I think it's so easy to wish it would have gone different and judge why did I do it that way? And if only I had made a different decision or, you know, why do we have to have pain and suffering in life? And like, I think it's possible to not know the answer.

And I still believe that there doesn't have to be an against for there to be a for, like you're saying everything can be for you, but only if we're awake and conscious and aware and, and choose to look at it in a way where we do have a belief in something greater than us.

There's this saying that like everything happens for a reason, which I think can sometimes be harmful because like, how could, you know, poverty and murder and these things be for a reason, but, and I, I think the, the, the way that I like to break it up is saying like everything happens and we give it the reason allows that again, that sovereignty of my choice, my values, my beliefs to come forward, to try to create some meaning and navigate this human experience.

But I'm going a little bit in a circle.

contemplating your question about selfishness,