So what happened next then?

It's interesting because I often get asked, Alfie, were the signs? At what point did you realise that he wasn't quite as he sort of said he was? He wasn't quite this sort of fabulous character.

And I think really from day one, the very first day I met him, hindsight is an incredible thing, isn't it? The very first day I met him, I remember...

he was having a phone conversation with his mum and he started screaming and shouting at her and swearing.

And I just thought, oh gosh, actually, this is a little bit woe, but, you know, he was in a sort of pressured job and it was a family business.

So he sort of explained it away.

And, you know, I kind of got it, but, He did that quite a lot.

Were you aware of IDFA or was there any other similar support for yourself?

Really?

He had lost all sense of reason, reality.

Um, yeah, he would have killed me that night, and it's, it's difficult to say because I've got two children, and the thought of them having to grow up without me, knowing that their dad had done this, that terrifies me more than anything.

You know, my chil- my children are my world, and I, I will make it my life's work to make sure that, that Grace and Jack grow up, go forward to be healthy, happy, decent people, and they are.

They absolutely are.

They're amazing, but they very nearly had to face a world without their mom, and that would've been their dad's fault, and that's a really difficult thing to get your, to get your head around.

And, and I struggle with it.

Okay.