I mean,

I think the internet can be obviously a rotten, horrible place but also a place for genuine exploration but also like our imaginations.

What, thinking about something you find really hot and giving yourself the homework of considering why that might be and where it might come from.

Mm-hmm.

that as a solo exercise and then that brought out if you have a partner or partners and you want to chat about it or if you're dating and having casual sex in a trusting environment going not just oh I find it hot when you do this to me or I do this to you but a bit more of the psychology behind it of going okay I think you know like so much of the world of kink especially has these really beautiful unusual origin stories and even just the way that we like to be touched like what's the firmness that you enjoy on your if you're touching yourself and I'm not just talking about like genitals but even I'm like touching myself up if you're not watching it but yeah on my arms don't worry that people you know if you consider like a really light touch or something firmer when were you ever given the opportunity to consider that and so that's information that you can have for yourself that you can then bring to other people and it's all of those little bits of language that unless I don't know I feel so often when we're trying to connect with people There's this real innate desire to be understood, but we're not very good at communicating ourselves to people, which requires a lot of vulnerability, which is

I just don't know if that's possible for me because it just hasn't been my pattern.

Well, I often challenge the idea that casual sex has less feelings in it.

And I think it can be a very beautiful, in theory, it can be an opportunity to, to exercise care for yourself and for someone else but without that long-term expectation but it doesn't mean it's less I don't like the kind of throwaway transactional nature that a lot of people bring to casual sex because you're still two people sharing a moment together and you know when I when I chat to people like the stories that people have of casual sex being magical for exactly what it is in that moment there's something very liberating about it if you can as you were chatting with these guys of going cool this is a one-time thing we're going to see if there's a vibe and then take it from there and there isn't a little brackets of being like and maybe we'll fall in love forever that's the thing so it's maybe how you shift that yeah oh god this is gonna help but like maybe it could I don't know it's those moments are inviting a lot of variables being up in the air and oftentimes when we approach dating we're doing it with an end game in mind and that comes with quite high stakes and quite high expectations of you and also of the other people that you meet and a slightly more casual environment I hope invites not low expectations, but an invitation to like shelve the high ones.

I was wondering if you could share a little bit of insights about the work that you're doing there and kind of why you're doing that.

I'm really distracted because I want to keep the spaghetti metaphor going, but I don't know.

I think we might have to park it because otherwise I'm just going to be trying to make it work.

Maybe we'll pick it up in a bit.

I like it.

Yes, I have.

Internet censorship is something that directly impacts all of us, even if we don't realize it, because some people use the metaphor of a kind of town square in terms of how we use and inhabit social media platforms.

What about yourself, Ruby?