Yeah.

I don't know what to do.

Yeah.

Well, it's the most difficult question I get from these callers.

And I'm sympathetic because, I mean, a wedding is supposed to be a great celebration.

People are coming from everywhere, you know, that we haven't seen in years, and we're celebrating this couple.

But I remind myself in the collar, you know, in the marriage of Adam and Eve in Genesis, the Bible begins with that wedding.

That's right.

Where is the science today? And what is, for us as Christians, as we try to look at causality, what should we know? Yeah.

Well, it's a great question, and you've set it up so well from both Dr. Dobson and the studies that you're talking about.

So yeah, there's no science really bearing out that there's a gay gene, right? And instead of talking about what causes this, we need to talk about what's correlated to it or with it.

And so from the cause, we can go back to the fallen nature of humanity.

We can say there's a cause for all of our sin, right? It's rebellion.

And so we have a need to work with the rebellion, but then we get into a need to work through the woundedness And the woundedness is where so many of these people are struggling.

And so it can be the child who wasn't maybe masculine enough and was called gay.

But what's the long view? Right.

Amen.

The numbers are much greater.

And therefore, if you ask, can I bring my partner, you know, I would take it out of the LGBT space and think, okay, if, daughter, you were having an affair with a married man, would you come to our Thanksgiving table as a couple? Is that something we could support? And so if we move it outside of the LGBT space back into Scripture, there are many, many, many ways that we sin against God.

This is one.

And it's not the only one.

And so we want to try to make sure that we're really addressing the gospel message.

You know, the gospel is not simply don't sin, but rather Christ paid for your sins and mine.

What would you suggest would be a good course of action either to avoid those things or to answer for those things?

Everybody's ready to get up and down the floor and make an impact.

Well, that's a, that's a good pull by you to really pull out that we haven't seen Gandba there in live action the way we would like to.

And we certainly want him protected so he's ready for the season.

That's the most important thing, of course.

Um, that said, you know, he came back to Duke for a purpose.

I'm sure he wants to be a lottery pick.

He'd love to hear his name called early rather than later.

Let me give the floor to you, Dad.

And so if you're talking to a spouse right now, how could a spouse begin to let down those walls and really practice surrendering when they're still afraid of being hurt?

That's a complicated question.

And so let's try to take it one layer at a time.

If we're talking about between husband and wife, one is violated trust, one is broken covenant, there is a betrayal, trauma, survivor in this connection, then that person, the offender, needs to be increasingly safe.

You know, forgiveness and trust are not the same.

And so if the offending party is still reactive maybe he or she is not being sexually unfaithful maybe they've moved on they've moved past that but they're still not fundamentally safe they're still not present in the relationship then i don't know that the the wounded party can really expect to relax and surrender and sacrifice very well because everything's still going to be screaming Not only did you hurt me, but you haven't really owned it, and I don't know that I'm safe now.

So that's one layer.

But their mind is saying no.

Mm.

When would you quit drinking it? So pornography, uh, things that are not necessarily pornographic, but highly sensual, you know, things that are really kind of accepted today, frankly, uh, this stuff does not build intimacy, and so we have a false intimacy.

And here's what's really happening at, at a lot of levels, I think.

When you have a spiritual stronghold in your heart, and you begin to think and get obsessed with that, then in time, behaviorally, you're gonna have a compulsion.

And by this time, it's gonna come into the brain to be a neurological addiction.

And so the whole person is gonna be infected, the whole person is gonna be impacted, and that's gonna also infect and impact the marriage.

So you really can't bring yourself to intimacy when you've bonded with something that's a counterfeit.

You don't need to know about my problems."

The big appeal in all the reporting was to coach Cooper Flagg.

Well, and congratulations to Coach May.

We're certainly excited for him.

We're excited to see anyone who sees such an incredible career trajectory, as you said, from Florida Atlantic all the way to the NBA.

Way to go.

You know, one of the things I appreciated was the reporting by Hugh Strain on Yahoo Sports, who took a different tact.

He really said that this hire said more about Coach Scheyer than it did necessarily about Coach May.

[laughs]

With, you know, the

mine and really starting out in potash production right through to nutrient and a fully integrated agriculture company, I think it's going to be great for them to understand what it takes to get that food and all the different jobs that are associated with it, directly in the farm or directly in the mine, but all the other ones that support it, whether it's manufacturing, support and otherwise.

So really good exposure for everybody.

He says this partnership is one way Nutrien is giving back to the community that supports them.

It's critical.

They're the ones that support us and people that come and live in the community and work in the community and support all the things to do to run our operations.

They're what let us operate the way we do and so we always want to be supporting the community and whether it's You know, through what we do, volunteerism, our employees, you know, I'm always proud when I look.

And if you want to look at, you know, whether it's sports and coaching, assistant, boards, there are always employees that are on there and help the communities thrive and do all those

So you didn't poop for nine days?

E- essentially.

Uh, well, maybe eight days, and then they said, "Okay, now you pooped.

Now if you poop one more time, we can let you go." But, um, that's what happened, and it was very, um, stressful, um, for me, uh, and my family because we...

You know, it's, hey, man, modern surgery, robotic thing, you're, and you're in and out.

You know, I come through at the, uh, post-op, and doctor says, "Hey, you know, you did great." And, you know, it was late in the evening, about, you know, 9:00 or 10:00 when I got to the room.

And this was just after COVID, so whole hospitals were really packed up, and they were waiting for a room for me.

Um, what would you say to them about this experience? And I like what you said about, you know, making sure that they take care of themself and the people around them, but why don't you capsulize that for us.

I don't need to see anything"? What would you say to those guys?

So, um, what would I say to the average, um, brother out there? Um, you know, I was, uh, and thanks to you, I participated in a focus group, um, of Black male cancer survivors, and this one brother said something that just stuck with me.

Given the statistics that-Like, one in four African American men, um, is gonna be diagnosed with prostate cancer.

He said, "Most of us have an appointment with prostate cancer." And it, it, it was a matter of destiny.

Like, dude, we got this appointment that's waiting for us, um, given the data and the statistics, and we need to be aware of that.

And, and one of the first things I did when I was diagnosed, I talked to my sons.

Um, the oldest is 37, the youngest one is, uh, 29, and I, I talked to them about at age 40 you need to make sure you start this re- regimen of PSA testing and screening so you have a solid baseline, and you can start seeing these things over time and develop the appropriate strategies.

So tell me about that journey, that five-year journey that you were on on active surveillance.