Like how were you not attracted to him? Well, I think the

first time I met him, he had been up late the night before watching the World Series game.

He was a huge Boston Red Sox fan.

So he had a rough night and I met him the morning after.

So I think I was too quick to judge.

But everything kind of moved really quickly once we started dating.

We only dated for seven, eight months and then got engaged and were engaged for about the same amount of time and then got married.

So was there anything different about this one? Or was it still that you thought, OK, we're going to just hunker down, brave this storm, and come out the other side? When

So what makes you say that?

Because I had seen over those 16 years so many different moments of struggle.

It got to a point where I knew every year there was going to be this downward cycle.

That's how I referred to it.

And every time he had one of those, it was me that carried him through.

He would, you know...

I want to say dump on me, but not in that negative way.

connect with like that.

Mm

... to do.

If I had moved with him in January, would this have happened? And everybody goes through that.

Every survivor of suicide loss that I've spoken to goes through that.

And I've just done enough work on myself in my own healing and talked to enough people that I'm, I'm fairly confident in myself when I say I, I did the best that I could with what I knew at that time.

Um, you know, I changed our way of eating.

I got him out to hot yoga.

Mm-hmm