What, was there a moment, um, even through all of this grief, that you realized you needed help or you wanted help?

Mm, there were a lot of times that, you know, that I wanted help.

I think what the turning point was for me is, uh, three months after I had, had lost m- you know, the second child, um, a- and I can tell you, I stood at her grave and, and I flipped God off and said, "I don't know what I ever did to deserve this," you know? And so my relationship with, at that point, with God was gone, and three months later I ended up pregnant again.

And, um, and, and I, that was just, um, it was really hard, you know? It's when I had done a geographic from California to Dallas, and um, and I wasn't gonna keep the child 'cause there, I just couldn't even imagine how to do that emotionally, right? And so I had, I had scheduled to, to, to, um, to have an abortion, flat out.

And that d- that morning, a, uh, a beautiful little blonde hair, blue-eyed little girl that was about three months old sat in my section, and I just couldn't do it.

I couldn't show up for that appointment.

And so, you know, I went, I went through that entire pregnancy and, and you know, life just still being crazy 'cause I was crazy.

But, uh, so what are, what's w- like, what, share some of your experience over the last, you know, good, bad, ugly, you know? Um-