Okay.

Yeah, no, I completely agree.

And, you know, like I said, I don't have to be available in that moment, but their healthy self is coming forward.

And then that becomes rewarding for them.

Like they're able to go, oh, like I did that myself.

So explaining like the difference between the eating disorder self and healthy self, I think that's like the next one that comes to mind.

Yeah.

Okay, Olivia, the question for you is what rituals or practices that you use to help heal yourself, or maybe you use new ones now, but do you use with trying to help other people and you use in your own life?

in life.

I didn't know what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be.

I'd always been somewhat like self-conscious of my body.

And so I just kind of fell into this, I guess, experience of wanting to better myself in some way.

and thinking that if I just started exercising a little bit more, if I just started taking care of my body, eating well, that I would have something that made me great.

Um, and then it just started to snowball.

And I guess what I found really difficult was so many of these behaviors are things that, um, people do just in everyday life quite normally.

Wow.

I know.

So in terms of my eating disorder, I first started struggling at the age of about 10 or 11 years old.

And I only started talking about that part of my story once I became recovered in my 20s, because what I was experiencing at that age at 10 or 11 was actually symptoms of ARFID, as I had an experience with my brother who... ate some meat and choked on it and was very traumatic for me.

So being an anxious kid, I really absorbed that and ended up becoming his protector.

And so over the years, I struggled with fear of having allergies, as he also is anaphylactic to nuts.

And so for me, I was always fearful of am I going to choke on something? Am I going to be allergic to something? And it was incredibly stressful.

But for my family, they didn't really know anything about it.

And also I just saw your Instagram post about with the horses, where you're standing with the horses.