Do you do a quick audit on, okay, where do you rank on these three things? Is that? No,

now if we're talking the actual coaching work, my life is weird.

Um, seriously, uh, no, if I'm meeting with a new client, the first thing I'm going to do is I will shadow him for a full week, dawn to dusk, breakfast to dinner, and he will get a complete assessment of every facial expression, every interaction, what he said during that coffee, how he interacted.

I say he, cause that's that the honest truth is that at that level, it's, I'm not saying this is a good thing.

It's just that it just all happened to be men.

Yeah, because economics.

But so no, if you're asking for me genuinely in practice, it starts with a shadow week and then they live in my head for the rest of the year.

Is that correct?

Digestion.

Digestion.

There you go.

So you shut down everything that's superfluous to run away from a lion.

Digestion, immune system, and indeed, superfluous abilities like cognitive reasoning, which means that just when you need it most, if fear shows up on the way to breakthrough, it's usually fear of failure, and we'll talk about that, that's when more primal parts of your brain hijack controls and shut down the very parts of your brain you need.

One small thing to know about fear and I'm running through my brain to see how much I can cram into six minutes.

You know what? We're going to move on to failure.

Imported by Mass Jägermeister U.S. White Plains, New York.

What are the steps then to working on building charisma? Regardless of where you're coming from, how do we learn? How quickly can we learn, basically?

An increase in charisma can come incredibly fast.

Uh, if you look at the three components of charisma, presence, power, and warmth, because we are all of us so increasingly distracted, increasing your degree of presence, which is literally just the ability to stay fully mentally present in the interaction, will get you huge bonus points, if you will, with just a small increase in your degree of presence.

But what's interesting, and this is a particular challenge for women- Is that at least from what I've seen, the biggest challenge on staying present for women is self-criticism.

It's not just the to-do list, which sure is a problem for everyone.

It's not just having half your brain still in Slack, email, whatever.

It really is the self-monitoring of, "Ooh, I said that thing that was stupid.

We're just not aware we're doing it.

Um, can you give us some examples of people who you think are really charismatic?

So it really depends.

You can find them in all walks of life, from your local PTA meeting, um, to politics.

That's where, of course, a lot of, uh, charismatic people gain power, for good and for bad.

And you can find them in business.

Of course, you can find them in show business.

So you can look at examples ranging from, uh, Pedro Pascal to Ryan Reynolds, two diff- very different kinds of charisma.

What if someone wanted to increase that?