where you were at and I was thinking I don't feel safe enough to acknowledge how overwhelmed I am because I have to keep pushing through now until the boys and Hayley's dad is home so can you talk a little bit maybe then about the role of the space holders then so people like myself so that week when I was totally way outside my window of capacity how do I support if I go reflectively go back to that week how would I maybe in a betterment of a way support it say Jack for example to meet his regulation capacity

I Love this question because you're allowing me to speak about one of my most favorite topics, which is co-regulation.

And I think what's really important for us to remember is that we were designed for connection as human beings.

So our brains actually grow in relationship.

And before we can ever regulate ourselves or be present to our own experience and our own feelings, we first are shown that way of being present in relationship with someone else.

So as their mother, you are showing them that their feelings are safe to have And that they will survive their feelings of overwhelm by being their co-regulator.

And so I think what's also important to understand is that our nervous systems are constantly in communication.

And that's just I'm giving that information just for how you might support his understanding.