I mean, you must'a, you must've been sort of recovered enough to a point where you could actually sit down and tell the story, but I'm curious to know if writing it down and getting it out into the world helped you as well.

It was.

It was all healing and in different ways and in different levels, and- In ways I, I didn't expect.

I thought that writing the book was gonna be the hardest, and in fact, it wasn't the hardest.

It wasn't easy, but it wasn't the hardest, and I was able to get through it, and there were times, you know, I put stuff in, I pulled it out.

Do I wanna talk about? Do I, do I not? And, a- and, you know, in the end I, I left most of it, most of it in, the, the stuff that was important.

But, um, yeah, it was, it was a hard process.

So I know we talked about your motivation, but, like, when in your timeline did you actually start writing this book?

Mm-hmm

... um, for different, for different reasons.

Um, you know, access and, and i- there were some older siblings that protected other kids.

Um, but, uh, yeah, at the time, I experienced, um, a lot of it.

And in my world, I saw me experiencing it and then, you know, I have in the book also that one of my siblings was also there, um, and had experienced some as well.

I'm not sure, and I don't think it was, um, as varied and as often and as frequent.

But, but, but yeah, and then eventually I, um ...

Hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Um, but, but they're in there in tiny bits just to let you know they're there, and, and they're wonderful.

Um, but I had to explain it to them and, and talk to them and, and ultimately I realized that, um, the amount of people that I can help, the, the things that this book can do, and it has already been, been doing that, um, was, was the direction to go in.

And, um, we all, we all, you know, agreed on that.

Um, but that was, that was a tough one.

You know, I love them and, and I wanted to protect their privacy, and, um, I wanted to, um, you know, protect who they are and ...

But also, you know, it was in a way a public apology to them.

Just to go back and experience these things, did you go back to Hawaii in your researching?

How did you kinda m- m- how did you architect your, your life at that point so that you could give yourself the things you needed to, to rebuild?

So I came home and, you know, it was very interesting.

I did stay with my, my parents for, you know, a small amount of time, and that was, that was tough because we hadn't done any kind of understanding, recognition of the pain that existed.

Um, we were all...

No one was on that journey at that point.

So I did that for a little while because I had to, because financially I had nothing, and I had a baby.

And so I did that for a little while, and then I eventually got back in school because I had failed out of college.

Life sup-