How do you deal with that when you've been married to somebody for 35, 40 years and your husband or wife turns around and says that when they're living with dementia?

Yeah, it's so hard, all of the different behaviors.

And what you're saying right now is kind of a very common one, like a delusion.

They believe something so strongly, even if it's not true, and there's nothing you can say or do to convince them otherwise, right? And so spouses are feeling stuck, like, what do I do? Right? If I try to defend myself, they get more angry and they don't believe me, but I don't want to agree with it because it's not true at all, right? So one of the things in this situation, and I find when we're dealing with difficult dementia-related behaviors and communication, It's like learning a new language, how to communicate.

So rather than focusing on their words, which are, you're cheating on me, you have a boyfriend or you have a girlfriend, rather than focusing on their words, which is just going to lead to more argument and they're not going to ever believe what you're saying.

Instead, focus on their emotion underneath the words.

So in a situation like this, you're cheating, you don't love me, you're with your boyfriend.

I think you've already shared some amazing strategies, but can you give us two, three simple strategies that the audience that's listening can go home and practice? Yes,

What did you see? What was missing? And where did that take you?

Okay, so this is, we're going back to the very start of my clinical career.

This was a clinical internship back in 2007, 2008.

It was the last clinical experience I would do before officially getting becoming licensed and becoming a true psychologist.

And it was at a state hospital and we were doing lots of group therapy.

And every single week, multiple times a week, a group of gentlemen would come together and we would ask questions, process hard emotions.

And there was one gentleman in that group that never said anything.

And then what did you start doing? You started making some notes after work, didn't you?