Yeah.

And there's something that's coming out of you that is not of this world, where you have this joy in the pain, in the heartache, in the circumstances of life that do not make sense.

And you have everyone around you, believers, non-believers, everyone saying, "How are you doing this? How are you showing up?" It's, it's this like, if I were in your spot, I could never.

And then this person has this opportunity to- ...

in their own way say, "The joy of the Lord is my strength." And I think that that's kinda what you're saying, that that fruit of righteousness comes out in seasons when we're suffering.

But I agree.

I think whether we're going through seasons of heartache or we're on, you know, that mountaintop moment, I do think that we are invited into this life of joy.

[laughs]

Yeah.

There's just a, there's a correlation, right? And so, um-I just remember thinking, "Okay, well, my earthly father abandoned me.

My heavenly Father must have abandoned me.

I don't have a safe place anymore with my dad.

I must not have a safe place with God." And so that really carried into college, and, um, I, you know, I, I don't say this lightly, but I really became, like, a textbook case of daddy issues.

And whether it's a, a lost parent or a trauma from your past or maybe this day and age, like, really severe bullying in high school, whatever it is, um, you know, we transfer that, um, like Christine Caine says, "The natural way with our pain is to drift.

It's not toward God.

Mm