But for those that don't know, could you tell everyone about your calves?

Yes, fine, absolutely.

It's in the public domain.

My legs are on, for all intents and purposes, upside down.

My calves are bigger than my thighs.

This has happened because I walk on my toes.

So I walk and run on my toes.

They are

I

would leave things that would make people frightened to break into my car.

I would have...

I had boxing gloves hanging on the...

Just so they would think that I was like a boxer.

A boxer.

I'm not going to break into this car.

even go like a melon with parma ham a staple of the italian diet i will take pepper uh pineapple on a ham and pineapple pizza but um oh right so there is a caveat there so that's the one caveat but this is all rooted in you start encouraging these people and suddenly you've got bananas and raisins in your curry

[laughs]

[laughs] I relish using all the different bits of the car.

I turn the headlights on with a flourish, zip down lanes feeling the sense of awe from the wide-eyed imaginary passengers at the awesome acceleration.

I've got a crappy car without much gadgetry, but my newfound friends don't know that.

They ooh and aah as I turn on wipers, switch on the radio, and indicate, all with the practiced anticipation-inducing timing of a master magician.

Am I normal? No.

See terms.

The most memorable gifts aren't found, they're made.

best Spurs moment of your life

oh oh god well obviously it's a funny one because you would I would say the winning the Europa because we finally won a trophy and I did I was so proud of myself for crying because you know I didn't know if that genuine emotion was going to happen but So I did cry.

It was a huge relief.

But I can't deny that I think the biggest moment was that Lucas Moura third goal.

I lost my body.

It was like an out-of-body experience.

Were you in Amsterdam? I was.

nothing else in life gives you that that last minute winner feeling um worst Spurs moment

In The Box.

... um, four Arsenal fans and four Spurs fans were trapped in a soundproof sealed box, completely cut off from the outside world, and we were drip fed information from the game via sort of freeze frames of various things like, um, KSI, uh, Piers Morgan, and then when ...

Players were sort of thrown goal.

Mm.

And Spurs, Spurs were playing, um, I think we were playing Palace and I couldn't get wifi.

No one at the playing could get wifi.

I asked them to ask the captain who said they would see what they could do.

So they were like radioing back t- to find out the score.

I've watched Tottenham a few times this season and... um i've actually liked the performances um obviously against chelsea on was was a poor performance but i've actually really liked what they're doing and they've been a bit more direct and getting the ball forward quicker and so that's why i think the chelsea game was was really it was a surprise really to see how poor he was so

Well, I don't think it's a surprise to the fans who have been watching closely, you know, because we are quite...

We've been very good away.

I suppose that's keeping it tight, isn't it? And cashing in on corners.

There's a lot of... with set pieces, which bizarrely seems to be our main mode of attack, has gone quite well.

I don't know if we've scored for many throw-ins, but we spend a lot of time drying the ball, that's one of the things we do, and then throwing it.

We dry the ball more than anyone, if you look at the stats.

I think that was the start of the end for Ange, really, because they never really recovered after that.