How have you resolved that? Because I imagine more than one of your clients is probably identified like that.

I would say nobody is at the same level of being able to communicate about hard topics in any relationship.

There's always going to be someone that's leading the emotional regulated state, whatever that may be.

So really the key for that is remembering that your job is to model the behavior you want to see.

introducing them to new frameworks, to new approaches, and making sure that you start by validating them so they can really actually hear you.

Because all friction really originates from wanting to be understood and not understanding either the other person's experience or not feeling understood.

If you really think about it, that fight, that tension comes from a, hey, but this is my experience.

And so what is what is a wiring differentiators between men and women when it comes to dating?

What can couples do to rebuild the spark in their relationship?

I love this.

So I'm a firm believer that you can have chemistry or a spark with just about anyone.

And I did not have the movie moment with my husband.

We always joke that I was hoping it wasn't him because I thought this man is nuts.

He wants to ski across Antarctica.

I am not signing up for this.

So if it's

How do you get them to identify what they actually need? So there's a

worksheet.

I love a good worksheet and it really helps them access it.

But we talk about like the different categories, right? Is it needs around finances? Like, do they have specific needs that make them feel safe? Is it a need around like physical intimacy? Whatever those are.

So they go through this category.

They say, you know, what is the need? And then they rank on a scale of like one to 10.

How important is this? Anything that's eight and above now falls in the category of need.

Okay, tell me.

to

me about that.

I know that's a subject you like to talk about.

Absolutely.

So when we expect our partner to be a mind reader, you might just assume that they're looking at you through the same lens you're looking at them, that they're picking up on all the little details.

But we're constantly filtering information.

And you know this from a neuroscience perspective, there's so much information coming in that we are filtering for what question we have in our prefrontal cortex.

Yes.

The, the, what was the third, what was the third one again?

The third one is u- unresolved issues.

So this one is a little bit more complicated in your approach, but I actually have a five-step framework that I share with people, and I'll share that with you.

You can put it in the show notes if anyone wants to download the PDF.

It's a five-step framework called BRAVE.

So that B s- means begin within, so really identifying what is the outcome that you want from this conversation.

Oftentimes we go into conversations thinking, "I just wanna resolve it," but you don't know.

What, what do they need to hear?