Do you think it's possible for a person to help others communicate with people who've died?

Yeah, I saw something on social media.

Of course, the algorithm was targeting me and it was like, write the person's name on a piece of paper and place it atop a glass of water and that person will come to you in your dreams.

And I dreamt that night just like almost exclusively of an overflowing toilet.

Yeah.

And then I was like, what is the message here? Oh, perhaps the social media medium was full of crap.

That was all I could come away with.

Megan, I wonder what these lines in the poem mean to you and whether you have any guilt or regrets in regards to Andrea.

... at that moment?

So when the hospice nurses told me that, um, they would sedate Andrea, I didn't actually understand what that meant.

I thought that meant Andrea would be sort of, like, loopy, but feeling...

I didn't know it would mean, like, pretty non-responsive, non-verbal.

And I, uh, was in tremendous grief because I thought we would have more conversation, or, like, when that time came, we would just talk about, at least say, like, "Hey, it's gonna happen now," and just have whatever our final words would be.

And I felt robbed of that.

But within an hour or so of having that intense, bereft feeling, uh, our friend, the musician Chris Perica, sent me a text message that said, "Uh, you've never heard this, and Andrea's never heard this, but Andrea wrote a love song for you.

Is there something you've learned in your grief that would be helpful for others?

[laughs]

My name is Megan Falley, but you can call me Meg, and I am a writer and the, one of the subjects of the documentary, Come See Me in the Good Light, along with my partner, Andrea Gibson, which was produced by Tig.

And my question's a little weird today, and it is, what question do you absolutely not want to be asked? Obviously, I'm not asking you to answer that question.

I just wanna know what question you don't wanna be asked, why you don't wanna be asked it, and maybe some alternative questions that somebody could ask you instead that would feel better.

Mm-hmm.

That would be a whole lot, um, just more true and real for me to, to share with others.

So I hope, um, that alternatives to the, a basic question like, "How are you?" uh, can be found and can help other people connect with folks going through something big.

All right, y'all, I love you so much, and I'm so grateful for what you do, and so grateful for the episode of the podcast you devoted to talking about Andrea.

Which I kinda love.

It felt so weird to, uh, to talk with such certainty.

It-- to say Andrea died, as if any of us even know what that means.

Hmm

...

Andrea died.

So I, I, I love saying that Andrea allegedly died.

Um, to my limited understanding of a body and a spirit, language is very important to me.

Mm-hmm.

Um, I want to be just immersed in it as possible and one night- so the following night, there was another screening at a different film festival and I got horrendously sick and I was th- like throwing up and I- this is rare for me and I- I was so upset because I wasn't gonna get to see the movie that I had just seen the night before and had seen five other times before that.

And I was just in my hotel room and I was like- I- it was all that I- where I wanted to be but I- I felt seasick on dry land.

I felt like...

it was awful, but I decided to take a walk with Ryan and Jess, the director and producer, and we moseyed on toward the theater and just trying to get fresh air and see how I feel and I still feel sick and woozy.

And then we actually even go into the theater and can just hear the point of the movie that it's at, and it's like there's only about a half an hour left and it's a- it's a happy, loving point in the movie so I just peek open the theater door and I look to the screen and I see Andrea on the screen and I start bawling and then all of my nausea, all of my sickness goes away.

I feel completely healed.

(laughs)

This is an important part of the story too.

I, yeah.

Andrea's poems are woven throughout, but the film ends with lyrics Andrea wrote that Sarah and Brandy turned into a gorgeous song.

Um, and Sarah's singing it.

I, I don't know if...

I think Brandy might end up singing on it as well later in the process, but the credits roll, and it's this, a- another collaboration really, another beautiful collaboration.

It's been so incredible to make something...

Yeah.