Yeah.

Right.

Most likely.

It's the same thing with like a spiritual sickness.

Listen, it's not hard.

It's just the parents don't want to.

Here's the number one thing they're afraid of.

OK.

So tell me, what does this title mean to you?

So two things.

Ironically, now I went to my first treatment center when I was 18.

It was four month inpatient.

The second treatment center I went to, I actually found a psychological evaluation from 30 years ago also.

in my mom's closet.

I don't even remember being there.

What does that new life actually look like day to day?

think that was going to help you or something?

I, you know, I think he just wanted to, I think he, so what, one of the things that I talk about in my book is enabling.

Right.

And I say that my dad was my, was my best friend, but he was never my father.

Gotcha.

These are two very separate things.

Absolutely.

Remember what you said? OK, cool.

Mm.

And she said, "There's, there's two rules here." Right? This is kind of before smartphone.

It's, yeah, no smartphones.

Um, she said, "If you're gonna live here, there's no drugs or alcohol, and if you're not gonna be home, you have to call." So I would just disappear, and I disappeared for three days.

I'm six feet tall.

I came in at 11:30 on a Saturday morning.

My mom said, "Oh my God," and started sobbing, 'cause I was 129 pounds.

Right.

Right.

And so it's...

And then I doubled down.

I, my faith in God even became stronger because I, I said, "You know what? I'm gonna demonstrate, and I'm gonna show the newcomers.

I wanna demonstrate to the people who are new in recovery that you can go through anything and come out on the other side." A death of a son, my, my, one of my best friend's son was murdered, and, and, and he didn't go back out.

Uh, one of my friends lost his wife and son in the same year, and he didn't go back out.

And what those guys talk about is having faith in something in the universe.

So Matt, what is the one piece of advice you could give my audience to help them grow as human beings and become better people?

So let's talk about faith, purpose, and also accountability and how that all plays into rebuilding lives.

Yeah, well, recovery starts with honesty.

And I had to take a look at who I was.

So I didn't repeat those same mistakes.

And faith is so important because, you know, my book is not just about my life.

I share other people's incredible stories through the face of adversity and why and how faith played an important role in their life.

You know, one of my friends buried his wife and son in the same year.

What's one thing, one or two things that you would recommend for them to get started, no matter where they are, whether they know someone who's suffering, they themselves are perhaps addicted, or they're just not moving through their issues and as with as much speed as they would like to, whether it's addiction or not.

Have you outed your therapist yet? Number one, and you don't wanna do that, but did you ever feel like you were the cause of your parents' divorce? I think you probably would've caused me and my husband to get divorced actually, and I'm not saying that flippantly.

Maybe at the time, but no.

My mom was a golf widow.

My father traveled for work and then played golf, and those were his two things, and my mom needed more attention.

But interestingly enough, I can't remember if I told you about my book.

I wrote my book on trying to help parents not be their kids' friends and not to enable them.

When my mom died and I went through her independent living and I found an article, not an article, I found a letter that she sent to my father when I was 20, and it's incredible.

Wow.

Talk about your Auschwitz for breakfast story.

Yeah, so one of the things that I see today and in the past that I say that my father was my best friend, but not my father.

And it's okay to be best friends with your father when you're an adult, but not when you're a kid.

He paid people to do my homework freshman year and senior year.

He paid people to do my homework in college.

And what I say is that this book, because I want to be clear about my dad, This book is not an indictment of his failures.

It's a testament to what happens when you love someone too much.

And so you went from being a victim to somebody who lives through service, which is really admirable.