And I said,

okay, let's get her tested.

And sure enough, she had Alzheimer's and vascular dementia.

The neurologist is like at UC Irvine, which is like one of the best in the country, who said, well, yeah, that's what she has.

And I said, I don't know anything about the disease.

I'm nothing about it.

How long does she have to live? She said, well, it's hard to say, but she also has some coronary things going on, maybe five years between the two problems.

Yes.

And I'm sure-

I, I was really, I was always really clear with my expectations of caregivers or anybody that touched my mom.

It's like, okay, your job is, number one is safety.

That's, that's job one.

Number two is you've gotta keep her entertained, make her laugh, have fun, show a lot of love, touching, caring.

And, and I found these amazing caregivers that stayed with me.

There was zero t- the agency paid them whatever they paid them, normal competitive rates, but they never left.

You know? It just makes everyone's life easier with-

And I think... every you know care partner out there or care leader is looking for what are those breakthrough pillars that i can explore in our journey are you can you share those with yeah

definitely yeah it's funny because they just sort of emerged and um and i discovered them as i went so the first one is we talked about it it's it's your care as a care leader be a strong care leader and um Again, you're not going to help them.

You're not going to help yourself unless you think of yourself as a leader.

If you need to energize yourself and recreate yourself as a care leader, that's the first pillar.

That's really important.

Nothing good happens without a strong pillar number one, you as a care leader.

Second is safety.

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Let's talk a little bit more about the strategy, structure, and accountability, um, how you use these things in such an emotional and personal situation.

Yeah, no, it was, it was clear in my mind that my, what my job was, to help my mom live longer and happier.

So that was the mission.

And I would, again, I would try lots of different things.

If they worked, I'd keep them.

If they didn't, I'd try something else.

And my mom was such a good sport.

[laughs]