[clears throat] Maryanne, why don't you start?

Um, I, I mean, I think your, your initial discussion is a very clear, has an important point.

I do think we overemphasize the negative, and I, I sort of like to switch the narrative a little bit to talk about, um, s- o- emphasizing more positive things, but also focusing on the, on the underlying relationship, because I think that is the critical piece of all of this.

Um, so I, I think that's sort of where I would wanna start, with the recognition that kids are trying to maintain a connection, trying to build an attachment.

And, um, I think what...

I, I think a lot about, um, the writings of a British psychi- psychologist who talks about the notion of mentalization, which I think is very helpful to think about for parents, 'cause mentalization, as he defines it, means seeing other people from the inside and seeing ourselves from the outside.

So it means an empathic connection to a child's experience, and also a little bit of reflective capacity about what we are doing and how we are coming across and what we're communicating.

Any thoughts or tips for ways I can support my niece and encourage her to make better choices, knowing I'm not the primary caregiver and many factors are out of my control?" Mary Ann [laughs]