And

as she's describing things that went on, There were definitely strangers in the same house.

Dinner, scrolling through Instagram.

We have our own separate Netflix shows, so they were in separate rooms.

And some nights she says, I'm just going to go to bed early because there's these awkward silences and I want to avoid them.

So she's laying there in bed having one-sided conversations like we do.

catastrophizing she thinks about breaking up and that feels way too catastrophic to her and so all the other nights that she goes to bed she has convinced herself that this is good enough this is normal this is what mary looks like and so on our first call i said lauren what do you want and she knew immediately she gave me Different examples for intimacy, connection, excitement.

You know, what happens to us and the relationship when we repetitively don't say what needs to be said? We

So what have you seen as the cost to not having these conversations?

It's the time that's lost.

You know, we're, we're, we sometimes build lives with people that we're not aligned with.

You know, I, I built a values-based framework where we take and we, we sort out all of that noise and figure out what you want, not what you were raised to value, not what looks good from outside.

And then you wanna, once you figure out what you want and what your values are, you filter and, and measure everything around those things.

And so, um, once you start to move from assumptions to information, then that's where...

You know, 'cause when you think about, we have these conversations as women, including myself- For years we'll have these one-sided conversations, and then by the time we muster up the courage to finally say something, every disappointment and hurt c- comes squeezed out into one moment.

But give us, give us some real meat here so somebody can apply it to a difficult conversation.