Damn.

It was If I Were a Boy, but, by Beyoncé, but we did Si Yo Fuera un Chico in banda.

And we did this in 2012, like in October, and she had it on the r- well, they had her on the radio in May of 2013.

That broke us.

Yeah.

And I was friends with the cousin, and the cousin was like, "It's 'cause they're telling my tia that it was gang related." And my mom's like, "Gang related? Like, what are they talking about? My son no era cholo." And like witnessing how she was crying, I remember that I couldn't even sleep for like weeks.

I was like-

Now that Phil has been found through this project, they're in regular contact, and when I met Phil, I was surprised to hear he had hopes they might get back together.

Yeah.

He's like now he want to come back and, like, the other day he texted me and say, "Oh, I wish you were here." I'm not rude, but I'm firm.

I have my boundaries.

Who is going to compensate me for the 18 years that I have done the work alone, you know? Then we are talking about me going through a lot because of him, so okay, I can forgive him, but I can't forget.

She tells me she sold it a few months ago when she and Cathy were struggling to buy food.

It hurt me to sell the ring.

I think I was like, "Maybe one day he will come back."But I told him the truth the other day, and he was like he's fine with it.

It's just my mom's my landlord, and we're chill.

Your mom being cool really isn't the problem.

She is cool, but I'm not getting any younger, and I'm looking for someone who wants to live on their own and start their own life and, like, have a life with me, not with me and their landlord mom.

But right now I just feel like I'm being judged for, you know, trying to be, you know, fiscally responsible.

I understand that you think it's being fiscally responsible, but you are stuck in child mode.

Like, you play Call of Duty in the garage nightly.

You know, yeah, you can do that on your own, but, like, she's enabling all of this for you.

And, I mean, you say it's financially responsible, but really your mommy's just taking care of you.

哦，那你嘞，Maggie？

我其实不知道耶，是昨天我们在彩排的时候才知道，原来布莱梅是德国的一个城镇。

听到的是这几个动物因为年纪太大，所以它们就被原本的工作啊，还有它们的主人淘汰，但它们并没有放弃，而组成了一个乐团，为自己动物的人生找到一个新的目标。那么今天就刚好请 Maggie 老师来跟大家分享吧。

《布莱梅的乐队》啊，原名叫做《布莱梅的城市乐手》。它是格林兄弟在一八一九年收录在《格林童话》里面的其中一个经典故事，它在德国文化中非常有名，甚至还成为了城市象征喔。布莱梅是德国北部一个很古老的城市。在这个故事里面啊，这四只动物打算要去布莱梅当音乐家，因为那里是一个自由城市，艺术啊或者是贸易都很兴盛。但是其实在故事的结局中——

Before long, weeks pass between phone calls.

He start with delaying of sending money.

You know, and I have a kid, and I'm like, eh, you know, it's due date to pay the rent and everything.

And then he was like, "Wait, I'll do it.

I'll do it" and all that.

Then one day he was quiet, so that's when I started messaging him.

I used to call him.

She cannot forget him and can't let go, but she has to carry on.

And, um, a number of people said to me, "You know what? I'm, I'm taking my mom on a trip." So, you know, they got the meaning of the book.

I wanna talk a little bit about transitioning, Sue, from, you know, writing a kids book to an actual novel and what that process was like that, and how that worked with Jim.

Yeah.

If you have one, and you don't have to have one, but what do you think is your secret to s- success in terms of staying happily married? Because you have been for so long, and continued.

I've seen it.

You're just like best friends, and it's great to see.

Maggie noticed the scars on her daughter's arm.

And I was like, "What are you doing?" You know? I was shocked.

Like, I told her, she knew how I used to work.

I never slept, 'cause I want this money.

I would go sleep, like, 30 minutes or one hour.

She would come from school, and sometimes she would be like, "Oh, Mom, when are you going to sleep?" You know, I didn't know it was affecting her.

Me and Mom argued, like, almost every day.

'Cause I'd be like, you know, "I'm also going through my sh- you know, my own, and I'm trying because I'm doing all of this because of you." You know? And when I tell her that, maybe she would feel offended and like, "Mom, you don't love me.

Every time they met, her feelings grew stronger.

And he used to tell me that, looking me at my eyes and say, "You have a beautiful eyes.

You know I will never leave you.

I love you so much.

You know you mean the world to me." Yeah.

But Phil starts to take longer to respond

He start with delaying of sending money.

You know, and I have a kid, and I'm like, "Eh, you know, it's due date to pay the rent and everything." And then he was like, "Wait, I'll do it, I'll do it," and all that.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Like, for example, he was supposed to pick me up from my apartment, and, like, we agreed on a time, and I was, like, waiting there.

It's like, he's 5 minutes late.

He's 15 minutes late.

I look outside my window, and he's just, like, standing outside on the sidewalk.

Um-

I feel like we've reached the point in this really riveting conversation for me to jump in real quick and ask if, Maggie, you would be interested in going out on another date with Charles? And if you were, we would pay for it.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Like, for example, he was supposed to pick me up from my apartment, and, like, we agreed on a time, and I was, like, waiting there.

It's like, he's 5 minutes late.

He's 15 minutes late.

I look outside my window, and he's just, like, standing outside on the sidewalk.

Um.

He's quiet.

Her mom, Maggie, tells Cathy her dad was a soldier and had been deployed to Afghanistan.

You know, she's young to understand.

What could I have told her? I just told her, "I think he's dead."

Before long, weeks pass between phone calls.

He start with delaying of sending money.

You know, and I have a kid, and I'm like, eh, you know, it's due date to pay the rent and everything.

And then he was like, "Wait, I'll do it.

I'll do it" and all that.Then one day he was quiet, so that's when I started messaging him.

I used to call him, the phone would ring until nobody would pick the phone, and then I would text.

Text after text, text after text, but no reply, but they were showing me they are delivered.

She cannot forget him and can't let go, but she has to carry on.

Her mom, Maggie, tells Cathy her dad was a soldier and had been deployed to Afghanistan.

You know, she's young to understand.

What could I have told her? I just told her, "I think he's dead."

The customer is undefeated.

I was not gonna ask you this till the end, but your book is dedicated, quote, "To the 1% that make consumer-centric decisions versus the 99% that make decisions based on boardroom politics," which seems to tie in to what you were just saying.

You really believe that most entrepreneurs are making decisions based on boardroom politics, and that 90-day cycle that you just referenced.

And Maggie's allowed.

Maggie the person is allowed, but for entrepreneurs and for yourself, how do you keep track and stay on top of all the new platforms emerging? 'Cause one of your other pieces of advice is prioritize early adoption of new platforms and features, which that in and of itself is a job to say nothing of building a business.

No.

And it became like this tug of war game where I was pulling and pushing and I, I just could not open the door, and then it flung open.

I thought, "Oh, for goodness sake.

It's getting worse." And I, I, I just, I just, I didn't know what to think after that.

The door had never been a problem before.

Um, anyway, so that was another incident, and I knew for a... and I knew there was something in that house.

I could just sense it.

Mm

(laughs)

Oregon-Washington area.

So it just so happened that when I decided to quit, a friend, who I met at the park, invited me on a trip to Iceland in about two weeks.

And I was like, "I'm in." Quit my job, had two weeks off to travel the PNW.

I was like, "This is perfect." Me and another ex-coworker loaded up all of our stuff for the summer in my Kia Forte, so it was packed, and we hit the road.

We spent most of those two weeks hiking, camping, living it up, having the best time.

After about a week and a half of camping, we decided to treat ourselves to a hotel.

We grabbed our overnight bags, went out, explored the city, and was just having the grandest old time.

Spooked.

[instrumental music plays] I grew up in a small town, central Wisconsin.

But it was always pretty quiet.

It's mostly just potato fields kinda out in the back.

And [laughs] I've got, you know, a nice wooded lot behind me, and pretty much there was woods and trees all over the placeImagine there's some houses, but multiple, like hundreds of thousands of trees.

Mainly these really big, tall pine trees that just kind of tower over you, and you just sit there and marvel at it.

The thing I probably like most about living where I grew up was being able to sort of have that freedom to, you know, go out and do those things I wanted.

So Maggie, your concern, it's probably warranted, but when you express the concern, how is it received?

It just doesn't come off right.

I just know that there's been a bit of a blind eye turned to them, it feels like, 'cause it was happening when we split bills last year, to the point where I was like, "How about I manage that? Because it seems like it's a lot." Anytime rent was paid, we asked, "What do we owe for bills?" And he's like, "I need to take a look at it," was the answer.

And then it wouldn't get taken a look at, and I mean, there's a lot going on.

No, we sh- probably should have hounded him, but it got to the point where we hadn't paid anything in a couple months, and I was just...

I did say like, "I know this is stacking up, and we can't back pay, so let me manage that, and you just handle the rent part 'cause it's a flat rate every month.

We divide it three ways.

[instrumental music] And now back to our conversation.