Living forever.

Maybe that would be eternal life, I don't know.

But I, yeah, learning, learning how to just exist without needing to sort of vie for attention, um, would, would be my, my dream life, and to feel, like, beautiful and seen without being overly, um- ... exposed or, like, put on a pedestal or without, like, having to deal with your major emotions publicly.

Like, I think, I guess now I'm talking about, um, being sort of a- an artist and going, having to kind of trick your brain into making these, like, artistic statements and knowing that at some point you're gonna have to go either, eith- either it was a timeless statement or you grew beyond it, and you just have to kind of go-

I'm gonna play something here, and then we'll, we'll chat about it, okay?

Okay.

[singing] At the table of our savior.

Wow.

I wonder if you could share more about that, of what was the rejection of teaching for you?

I think firstly it's because I just always would rather be the student.

Maybe I would like ownership over the messiness of being a student.

But the reason that I loved teaching was I was like, "Oh, that is what this is still." You are the student with the loudest microphone for this period of time, and I just think teachers are, have such a profound respect for them in light of this experience because there was so much research that was done on my part and so much mulling over ideas and deleting and resurrecting and, like, moving things around.

I was so dizzy in a wonderful way.

But to imagine teachers who do this on the daily, and then they have students who are in the most triggered place of their life, college students just being like, "Yeah, I disagree with you."

We're interested in either something that somebody has told you or that you've read, absorbed along your journey that continues to keep you inspired and keep your cup full or conversely something that you wish the 17-year-old you knew when you first started making records and touring and trying to make a career out of your creativity.

I wish that my 17-year-old self knew that giving into things that gave you joy was always a good thing.

Mm-hmm.

And you kind of are like, "I don't know anything else.

I'm committed now.

We've gotta, like, take the good, bad, and the ugly." And like you were saying, it's such a beautiful thing, I think, to be so acquainted with the phases that we've gone through, the, like, the feeling of, you know, having Pitchfork on your lawn.

Getting in your body.

Yeah, getting in your body and...

But, so I'm curious, and I'm sure your followers and listeners are gonna be curious about how long this record took to make and how you worked through the pacing of it mentally, 'cause you were releasing other things at the time.

Yeah.

Naj.

This is the easiest thing ev- this is so wonderful.

[singing] I love it when you say my full name.

And the way you always speak your mind.

When the needle finally finds the vein.

And all your little sayings become mine.

Exactly.

You do everything a woman can.

Those are some of my favorite songs on the record, actually, which I think there's something to be said about that, like the...

There's the most, like, trepidation and the most, like, work that it took to, to get them to a place that felt relevant.

And I, I think it paid off in some way.

But yeah, I mean...

I, I don't know.

I'm actually curious, Andrew, how you ended up emotionally relating to the songs.

You say you want your freedom.